Edit: I'm overwhelmed by support I've received here. I'd love to respond to you all, but I'm already a crying mess and don't think I can do this more than once.
Thank you to everyone for your comments. I'm still very uncomfortable with everything. But knowing that my past miscarriage is not something that would bring judgement from such a large group gives me confidence. I think that by the time I do get into a relationship, I will be able to bring it up in an appropriate time and manner.
There are also some comments about the complications I faced and my fertility. So the complication from the D&C was an infection that left heavy scar tissue. This wasn't discovered until well after the surgery. I also later learned that I have PCOS. Neither make me infertile, but both greatly decrease my chances of carrying to full term in the future. Truthfully, I'm more frightened by the idea of getting pregnant and losing it again than I am of never being able to get pregnant at all. So birth control is a must for me; no worries!
OP: I was only seventeen when I got pregnant. It wasn't planned and we all know the struggles of entering into parenthood when you yourself are still a child. But I was dedicated to the idea of motherhood and was even a little excited. I was raised by my grandmother because my parents didn't want to give up their party lifestyle when I was born. I wanted to do better than them and be a real mother to my child.
So it hit me really hard when I miscarried near the end of my first trimester. It was the worst physical and mental trauma of my life. I ended up getting a D&C, and there were complications. While there is a chance I could get pregnant again, the odds are against me.
I'm not in a relationship at the moment and plan to remain single for a few more years. But I've been wondering lately if I would need to disclose my miscarriage to any future partner I have.
I worry that telling someone about my miscarriage would make them see me in a different way. I'm scared that they'll just see me as the immature and stupid teenager that I was back then. But it feels necessary to tell. The loss I faced shaped me as a person. I also feel like it would have to come out eventually when the possibility of having kids together comes up, because I'd have to explain why I would have difficulty getting pregnant again.
Just the idea of it all makes me panic. I know it's not something I'll have to deal with anytime soon, but I'd rather know what to do before I ever get into a relationship again.
TL;DR: Got pregnant as a teen and miscarried. I don't feel comfortable telling future partners about it, but also feel like it's something that will have to be said. Wondering about what to say about it when I do get into a relationship again.
Submitted August 30, 2018 at 09:23PM by HeadmistressNatsur https://ift.tt/2onIdVY
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