I [32M] realized i had feelings for another woman and immediately cut things off. How do i rebuild things with my fiance?

I run my own (1 man) business, she was a contractor. We started working together a year ago, clicked immediately, and began working a ton together (basically every day, lots of late nights). We shared many big moments, challenges and successes with each other. We routinely expressed a lot of mutual respect and admiration for each other's talent but never went close to anything inappropriate (zero physical, no social hanging out).  

I'm a typical emotionally stunted guy and took forever to realize that i had feelings for her. By the time i did, i was in extremely deep. As soon as i realized it, i cut things off, made up a reason to end our current project and told her i was taking my business in a different direction.  

Now i'm heartbroken, depressed, and don't know how to reinvest myself in my actual relationship. It's also horrible not to be able to talk about it to my long term partner and main source of emotional support. We've been dating five years, engaged for a little over 1, set to marry in April. I know she can tell i'm sad and not understanding why is hurting her too.  

Any suggestions? I'm old enough to know a small unrequited crush is silly and meaningless, but i feel horrible and guilty and want to move on as quickly as possible.

Ninja edit: i know that this is a very self centered post, that i'm the shitty, irresponsible guy in this trio and that my actions affected the other two in very negative ways. I tried to be concise and to the point and omitted all the agonizing inner dialogue and self blame.  

TL;DR: Got major feelings for a coworker, cut things off before anything inappropriate. How do i get back into my actual relationship?

Submitted August 28, 2018 at 09:16PM by Yawaworht54890 https://ift.tt/2Lz1xZK