My brother [35m] drunkenly texted me [28f] that he wants a woman he can control and manipulate. Seriously concerned about abusive behavior.

Long post.

He likes to text when he drinks, which is often, and then say it doesn't count when he sobers up.

Our parents had a contentious, physically and verbally abusive relationship. Our father died when I was really young so I was raised by a single strong willed woman. My mother never shit talked our father. She spoke plainly about it and always took responsibility for her part in it, but he got a front row seat. I think that's all important context for the following. 6 months ago he got out of a 3 year relationship with the worst person. She was controlling, jealous and just plain trashy. He was like 3 of her size wise so when she finally got to hitting him he insisted she was too small to do damage and too dumb to be effectively emotionally abusive. They broke up. So happy for him.

Flash forward to his drunken texts. Now he said something pretty insulting to me about a week ago so I'm primed right now. He has always said derogatory things about me, like that I needed to find a rich husband, as if I wasn't capable of supporting myself, calls the men I date effeminate (I dont even understand this one). Last week he called me the most successful person in the family and then a disappointment. Just rude degrading stuff.

Last night he was texting me about how it never would have worked because he couldn't control and manipulate his ex into the woman he wanted her to be. And he monologued about it. Just spun out on why it was honest of himself to recognize that and how he needs to be in control. I told him he really needs to see a therapist, something I have done to help me set boundaries with him and tell him he can't speak to me in that way.

Honestly I screenshot the conversation and am willing to show it to any woman he dates until he gets into some sort of therapy.

I know I am venting at this moment but I really need some advice on how to approach his misogynistic behavior.

Tldr: brother is misogynistic and borderline abusive, how to get him to see a therapist?

Update to Clarify: We have done a lot of work on our relationship and am one of the only people who can get him to consider what he says might be wrong. and as I am typing that I realize how codependant that behavior is. UGHHHH. We didn't speak for a few years and after we had a falling out over his opinions on our moms job on raising us. He came around but then I didn't speak to him after the rich husband incident.

Submitted August 31, 2018 at 06:11AM by spookypoops83 https://ift.tt/2orsepY