My (30F) boyfriend (32M) left a candle burning in our house when he went to work, and didn’t think it was a big deal

Long time lurker, first time poster.

My boyfriend of 1.5 years has everything I’m looking for in a life partner, and we generally have a happy relationship. However, he can be reckless/careless in ways I don’t know how to forgive him for.

Some things we have argued about in the past: -he won’t stop texting and looking at his phone while driving, and he won’t check his blind spot before changing lanes -he blows money at the casino every time he’s stressed even though he’s struggling with credit card debt -he isn’t cautious with fire hazards

In the past I’ve had anxiety about these things but I’ve never really gotten angry or questioned our compatibility.

However, yesterday I hit a breaking point. When I got home from work there was a candle burning in our home. I called him and he said he realized he might have left it burning, but he didn’t think it was worth leaving work and driving back home for. We have a cat and he assumed she would not approach it because she can sense the danger in flame. That’s the only adverse possibility he considered and he decided the risk was low enough that it didn’t warrant leaving work to check (or telling me about it so that I could go home and check).

He realizes this was reckless and has agreed not to do it again. However, I struggle to trust that he’ll be able to follow through on that promise especially in the situations we haven’t directly talked about...more than the motivation to be safer, I question whether he has the risk awareness needed to be safer.

I travel for work a lot, and I know I will worry now about his safety, the safety of our cat, the safety of all of our keepsakes, etc. while I’m gone. Not to mention the thought of him one day doing something that could put our hypothetical kids at risk.

TLDR...I’m an anxious and safety conscious person but my boyfriend is not. He has done things that I consider reckless. I’m not sure how to come to terms with this and trust him with the things and people I hold dearest.

Submitted August 31, 2018 at 10:07AM by Upinflames2018 https://ift.tt/2NAA4sh