So for the last year and a half one thing as been causing a huge amount of fighting between me and my mom and that is my car. About 4 years ago she got a DUI and her life has gone downhill from there. She totaled her car and lost her license from that incident. After a spending around half a year in between jail and rehab she returned home. She has always believed that a car and driving is the key to freedom and a career. So she got somehow got a new license from another state and managed to get a series of used cars with questionable legality in registration and insurance, all of which got towed or broke down. Then, I turned 17 and got my own license and car. When I turned 18 and left for college, she took full reign over my car despite warnings from my step dad that it was a bad idea. I wasn't sure of the legality of her drivers license and she has a bad driving record so I was really hesitant to let her use it. However she shot down all my arguments and told me that she needed her car to get her life back on track. I conceded because I wanted her to get her life back on track as well. So she used my car for almost a full year while I was in college and away for the summer. Before I left for the summer I told her I intended to take it back to school with me this upcoming year, just so she would have warning and a deadline. Everything blew up when I came back home from my summer away. I came back to find my car a mess, the left wing mirror was missing and she told me she had been driving like that for a month, with some pride. I found out the registration was a year expired which she had told me she had taken car of months ago. My car has racked up tickets for an expired registration in my name that have resulted in the suspension of my license (which has been taken care of) and hundreds of dollars of EZpass tolls from when she drives it through without a pass. I told her again, I was going to take my car back for the school year. She told me I couldn't because she had just gotten a job and she needed the car to get to work and she didn't even have a bank account to call Ubers and had no way of buying her own car. So I've spent the last week silently angry about the situation but willing to let her use the car in hopes of seeing her finally get her life back together. However, today I was informed by my dad (who's been separated from my mom for about 15 years now), who pays for my car insurance that he wouldn't pay insurance if she was the one driving it. I was told my options were to take the car on campus with me or give up my car to my mom and take my name off the deed. There's no way I can give up my car, I love it and I need it and I don't know when I'd be able to afford to buy a new car. But I also don't want to stop my mom from getting her life together again. I know she's taken advantage of me for a long time now and hasn't respected me or my car and I know she's been manipulating me for some time now over the car. AND on top of that I learned she used my name to get car insurance for 2 of her cars and an unpaid bill has brought my previously untouched credit score down to a 500. But she's also my mother and she's already so down on her luck and has so many unaddressed mental health issues and I really worry if she'll ever get better. And if she doesn't then who does the responsibility fall onto but me, the oldest child. Reddit, I just don't know what to do.
TL;DR I'm in a moral dilemma about whether or not to end the manipulation and damage of letting my mother have control over my car while simultaneously possibly ruining her chances of getting her life back together.
Submitted August 29, 2018 at 11:30PM by sweatiecakes https://ift.tt/2Phgge7
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