About 5 years ago, my best friend fell in with an abuser. I know that happens. I texted her, telling her I was there if she needed to get out. She'd vent to me, tell me what was happening... I kept begging her to leave. She kept telling me they'd have breakthroughs, they'd go to counseling. They would go through the cycle of abuse for three years.
Two years ago, he finally hit her so hard she lost consciousness, broke three teeth and her nose. I was her first call after the cops at the hospital. She was pressing charges and going to leave. I offered her a place to stay, she got a PFA, and he got to rest his head on a prison pillow for a night or two.
She stayed with me for a month. He did not know where I lived because she didn't. He kept such a tight leash on her that she wasn't allowed out and I wanted to be her safe place.
Around the end of that month, I came home to him sitting in my living room, watching TV while eating my food. She wasn't working while she healed. He was homeless and she said he was sorry, was getting anger management, and wanted to work it out.
I told her, right then, that she had 30 days to leave. He got a wee bit aggressive. I called her parents, told them to come get her and him (which pissed them off, too.) They did.
She tried to resume the friendship like nothing happened a week later. I ignored her messages. Pictures of presents, their new apartment from the money her parents lent her... she acted like it was fine.
I'd get late night SOS messages from her, begging me for help. I called the cops each time and also forwarded the messages to her parents/brother. I never responded except for the one time I sent her a line for DV hotline/shelter.
She has finally left him and has been gone for 6 months. He put her in the ICU. Her parents and brother texted me, asking me to come. I declined. She texted me when she got better, I didn't respond.
I don't know why, but I have zero sympathy. I do not want this person in my life. She violated the sanctity of my home with him. I ended up buying a better security system and keep all doors and windows locked at all times. This summer, I had a gate put up that can be accessed only by a keyfob.
She sent me a long text last night, telling me I was throwing away 20 years over a simple mistake and that she needs me, I'm her only friend. I sent her a reply that said, "No, you threw away 20 years by bringing him into my home." She hasn't answered.
Am I being too harsh?
TL;DR: I helped my friend move away from her abusive boyfriend. She brought him into my home without permission. I cut her out of my life, bought a better safety measures, and have spoken to her twice since.
Submitted August 29, 2018 at 08:27PM by badfriend2020 https://ift.tt/2LCUWO3
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