My (17F) boyfriend (18M) did something that has made me scared of him. I am considering leaving him because of it.

An obvious throwaway here.

A couple weeks back, my family received the devastating news that my cousin (17M) committed suicide. Whilst never close to me, this still hit hard. A family member the same age as me, dead. Since then, a series of medical issues in my family have put serious strain on both of my parents. And obviously, I feel a degree of stress from this too.

I decided to confide in my boyfriend of eight months, let's call him Josh. So I tell Josh about what's been going on, and about how my mental health has been suffering from this (I'm my early teens I was anorexic and had a history of self harm, I know shits fucked) Josh stated he would have my back and that he loved and cared for me deeply. I believed all was well, until I saw his arms.

He came to me today, all happy his usual self. Wearing a short sleeve t-shirt that showed his forearm where he had carved the word "HELP" deeply into his flesh. I was shocked, although retained my composure until I was in class away from him. I text him then, asking what the hell that was. He responded with "It was going to say "HELP HER" as a reminder to keep you safe. I did it for us." I freaked out, saying how that couldn't really be much more innapropriate and that I was horrified by what he did. He responded in confusion asking me what was so bad about it all.

I told him that I didn't want to see him for the rest of the day. I needed time to think. He told me that wasn't possible that he needed to see me. My friends, let's call them Em and Ben, decided to take me outside as I was visibly upset. As soon as Em hugged me I burst into tears. Here's where the plot thickens.

My father is abusive. Not to me, but to my mother. He used to hit her. Now he cuts, stabs, hits himself to stop it. As if that's really much better. So this outburst from my boyfriend shocked and horrified me.

Josh gave me the space I asked for after Ben and Em removed me from the school bounds. Josh text multiple times apologising and trying to explain his behavior as "to help you". Near the end of the evening when I finally decided I had enough, I text him explaining why I was so upset, about my father, about it all. He said sorry again, then goodnight.

I spent the day with Ben and Em, they talked me through what I should do. They believe the relationship is toxic and this is a massive red flag. I am inclined to agree, but I don't know. Maybe I'm jumping the gun because I'm upset.

I am worried as to where the line blurs. When does doing things like carving "Help her" into ones skin become hitting me or someone else 'for us' apparently?

What do I do? Should I try make things work? Is this a sign of a sociopath?

TL;DR : Cousin committed suicide recently, and family is going through alot. Stress is getting to me, I opened upto my boyfriend and he decided to carve 'help her' into his forearm and tell me it was to remind himself to look after me. Should I leave him for this type of behaviour?

Submitted August 30, 2018 at 06:10AM by ThrowawayAcc4578 https://ift.tt/2PQDIjd