My (29f) friend (33f) is always late. I’m at a restaurant and it’s been almost an hour since I’ve gotten here. Should I just leave?

So while I sit here in embarrassment as the server continually asks me if I want a refill I thought I’d make a post.

I’ve known my “friend” since birth, she’s actually my cousin. Being late isn’t a new thing, it’s habitual and I always make sure to confirm the times with her and let her choose times to meet up.

Last time we met, we were taking our kids to the park. She was over an hour late. She texted me about ten minutes after she was supposed to be there, saying she would be a little bit late but was on her way. I was already there with my son waiting. Then she texted me almost half an hour later saying she went home because she forgot her phone? But she texted me saying she was on her way. In any case, she was an hour and ten minutes late that day but our kids eventually got to play together.

The time before that we invited her over for dinner. I told her we would eat at 5:30 and to try and be there by 5. She arrived with her kids at almost 7pm. My kid goes to bed at 8pm and the food was all cold by the time she got there. It was already in the oven so I didn’t want to overcook it.

The time before that she was about half an hour late, didn’t have the kids with her. Didn’t have an excuse.

I scheduled a time to meet her for lunch with our grandmother, I was in between appointments and we agreed to meet at a restaurant at 12 noon. She arrived with my grandmother at 12:30 and I had to rush my meal and take it to go. I asked why they were late to my grandmother and she just said my cousin was taking her sweet time getting ready, and picked my grandmother up late.

It’s now been 55 minutes since we were supposed to meet and she texted me saying “5 mins away” fifteen minutes ago. Should I just ask for the bill and leave? I’m kind of sick of it.

TLDR: friend always late. Lies about when she will arrive or how long she will be. I am always on time or five minutes early for everything and I’m getting really sick of waiting.

Edit: I left the restaurant. As I was driving home I received three phone calls from her which I didn’t answer because I was driving. One text that says “where in the restaurant are you?”

The time stamp on the text is 1 hour and 12 minutes from when we agreed to meet. I’m back home now, and not sure how to respond to her.

Edit 2: She’s texted me about four times. One asking where I am. The next saying she’s leaving the restaurant. The next saying she’s sorry. And the last telling me I’m rude?

I’m waiting a while to respond, but part of me thinks I won’t respond at all. I don’t know what to say, and I usually like to wait until I’m not so mad before trying to enter into a conversation where I have to be confrontational. I’m a fairly tolerant person and don’t run into these situations very often. People usually respect me because I respect them.

Edit 3: I responded to her and said:

“Hey, I waited exactly an hour for you to show up and you never did. You said you were 5 minutes away 23 minutes before I left and we had a time to meet.

You were also over an hour late and left us at the park in a heat wave last week.

You were half an hour late for lunch two weeks ago after I told you I only had a certain amount of time and rearranged my day to see grandma.

I’m sorry you think I was rude for leaving, but after being there an hour the server actually told me she wouldn’t wait that long either. I don’t think I was the rude one, as I didn’t leave you sitting alone in a restaurant for over an hour waiting for you. It’s very disrespectful.

I can see five or ten minutes late, but to always be an hour late? And then text and say you’re 5 minutes away when it’s not true just to keep me sitting there waiting is unfair.

I won’t be waiting for you longer than ten minutes anymore. I won’t tell the kids we are meeting your kids in case we need to leave. It is important that I teach them how to respect others and be respected by being on time.”

She responded with: “There was an accident and I was stuck behind it after I texted you. Before that I got carried away on my hair.”

• she lives five minutes from the restaurant. There was no accident as I drove that way as I was leaving. There is also no way she could possibly get “stuck” because she lives in an area with many many routes she could have used to detour. She lives in an urban area with many many side streets. If she was stuck in an accident I would have passed it or her on my way back home.

Submitted August 01, 2018 at 07:40AM by gambabes https://ift.tt/2n15goT