I (32f) just saw my husbands (32m) of 6 years DM conversations with an Instagram model. They were flirty but I'd say innocent. Does he have a right to a "private" online life or do I need to confront him that I know?

So how do I get into this...so my husband has an Instagram account where he follows mostly snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding related posters. I know he does follow some "cheeky" insta-models but for the most part it doesn't bother me.

So yesterday he was showing me IG pictures that our favorite ski resort had posted of the new chairlift they are installing. I'm not quite sure what I did but however I touched his phone I got to his DMs. Right there on the top was "you replied to misssky_xxxxx…." (not her real Instagram handle). He didn't seem to notice but just sort of naturally took his phone back from me.

My curiosity/jealousy was going crazy so while he was asleep last night I logged into his phone and read the messages back and forth between them. This girl has about 80k followers so I was totally surprised but by all means it seems that she was really messaging him.

It started off when she had made a post that said "looking for someone to travel to Germany with in October, only qualification is not be a creep." He sent her a messages that if he could get permission from his wife he could be free and the fact that he had a wife meant that he wasn't a creep. She apparently thought that was cute and they've been exchanging maybe 3-4 DMs a day back and forth for the last few days. There's nothing explicit at all, in fact she even asked about me and our kids (4 and 2) in fact the worst thing he said was "I've just always wanted to travel Europe with a model. Sort of a bucket list thing." I would say the messages were flirty, but no indication that anything would ever happen if that makes sense.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this. Part of me feels that if we have a trusting relationship, then he should be able to message whoever he wants even on Instagram and there's a world of difference between flirty and explicit.

The other part of me feels like this could be opening the door to much worse things happening and I need to put the kaibash on it right now.

I would love any advice. I'm not a big social media user so a lot of this stuff is foreign to me so I would love any advice and recommendations on how I could or should react in this specific situation. What do I do?

tl;dr: found out my husband shared messages with a model on Instagram and I'm very torn as to what my reaction should be.

Submitted August 29, 2018 at 05:13PM by wifeistheother https://ift.tt/2omQud1