I (26M) am dating someone (22F) that is late to almost everything. It isn't improving and getting to the point that I don't want to see her anymore. It seems like such a stupid reason to break up.

We are not moving forward because basically I am holding back. She is late for everything, and when I say late she may be 15 minutes late or 3-4 hours past schedule. It's so damn frustrating and we talk about it and she says stuff like "that's just how I am, ill work on it, sorry" in a cutesy voice or sometimes she'll deny that she's always late. I took it that she would work on it but as it continues I've been worrying that she isn't serious or doesn't care. She always swears that she cares but it seems like she doesn't just because she doesn't seem to make much of an effort.

Today, I was meeting her around 3:30 to go out and she had mentioned yesterday that she didn't have much work for today (she works from home) and that she'd be done before the afternoon. At 1:30 she text me and said she took some medicine for anxiety becuase she is nervous about a surgery she is having next week, and said that she might be asleep. I thought hey that's fine, I get it.

I show up and she's asleep, so I wake her and asked what we are doing and we talked about plans. So she started to get ready, like played on her phone and her cats, got ready some more, THEN PULLED OUT HER LAPTOP AND SAID SHE HAD TO FINISH WORK FOR THE DAY FIRST, then she finished getting ready. She apparently just went to sleep in the middle of the day instead of doing work for her job and didn't tell me before I drove over there. She knew she was going to sleep during the workday at 1:30 when she was supposed to already be done with work. It was 6:30, 3 hours after I said I'd be there and we are just leaving. At this point she gets a call from her friend who is leaving town next week for a job and she kind of has to go see her tonight because it's the last time she will see her in awhile. But I'm so angry at this point. I tried to explain that I wasn't mad that she is seeing her friend before she leaves, I'm mad that she yet again has wasted an entire day and now we have 45 minutes to spend time before she has to go get ready for her friends going away party. (I should mention I was invited but she knows that I work in the AM on Saturdays and she knows that I can't go out). She asked me why I look mad which honestly made me furious, but I kept it inside- I told her (for the 1000th time) that more than every other time we hang out she's late and it doesn't seem to matter. And she told me that she didn't care tonight because she needs to see her friend and that she took the Xanax because she is nervous about her surgery and doesn't want to be bothered by "stupid shit that doesn't matter" and so she doesn't care. I feel like her being on benzos today has given me a dosage of the truth and how she really sees my concern in the relationship.

Im sick of this, but breaking up over punctuality feels so, so stupid. We get along in so many other ways and I'm just burnt out and tired of dating. I don't know what to do. How do I even bring it up again after she's said that? I don't want to give her an ultimatum but I also don't want to continue on with this.

tl;dr My gf is late to everything and doesn't really seem to care. We can't see movies, can't make dinner plans with others, and I can't trust her to do anything on time. Other than just bringing it up for the 1000th time I don't know what to do short of breaking up with her even though that seems like a stupid reason to break up.

Submitted July 27, 2018 at 06:08PM by BeOnTimeJustOnce https://ift.tt/2vfb6GW