I've [22F] been with my boyfriend [21M] for about 6 years now. We went to the same school for 8 years and started dating our sophomore year of high school, and we're about to graduate from college in the spring. I love him SO much, but it's been a concern from day 1 that he doesn't have his shit together. I have always been super ambitious and career-oriented while he's always been more relaxed and go-with-the-flow.
I actually broke up with him about 2 years ago while I was at a software engineering internship out of state mostly because I felt like I was propelling forward in my future career while he wasn't doing much of anything at all. After the most emotionally turbulent year of my life being single, we got back together during quarantine, and things really did improve. He seemed to be taking his studies more seriously (he is a landscape architecture major), he solidified some more of his interests, and he's been working at a landscape architecture firm as a part-time intern for almost a year. However, it's obvious he's not passionate about what he's doing and doesn't want to work for the firm he's currently interning at, but he's made zero effort to look for opportunities post-graduation or discover more of his interests, even while I've been actively seeking and recruiting for roles. He used to talk about moving to Portland and doing something there because he loves that city, but he never followed up on that either. Yesterday he mentioned maybe getting a job at a restaurant next year to pay rent, so I know his focus isn't on getting a stable job with a salary and upward mobility.
It looks like we'll both be living in the same place next year, and obviously I want this relationship to work out. He's a wonderful person and we are so connected. But I can't wait around for him to get his life together while I work my ass off to accomplish the things I've dreamed of accomplishing. I know he can work hard too, but he's stuck and has always been content with doing the bare minimum.
I don't want to baby him or mom him either, and I've tried hard not to interfere so that he can figure out what he likes on his own and doesn't resent me for pushing him harder. But with graduation coming up next semester, I'm getting stressed out about the future of our relationship and am wondering if I need to proactively have this conversation with him. I just don't know what to say or how to approach it.
TLDR: My boyfriend doesn't have his life figured out at all and I don't know what to do.
Submitted January 05, 2022 at 10:23AM by SergeantSleet https://ift.tt/3HKnFOn
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