My best friend (28F) and I (29F) have been friends for 12 years and since we started living together about 3 years ago I feel she relies on me for her social life.
We have both been single (apart from casual dating), she our entire friendship and me since we started living together up until 3 months ago when I started seeing my now boyfriend (29M)
She seems to be having trouble understanding the concept of him and me as a social unit. Now that he is my boyfriend, he is my go-to +1 to most events, and we spend a lot of time together because he has become another priority in my life. She and I still do things together one on one and I make that a priority as well. She and I also still live together. The snag has been coming up though on certain events and holidays where I feel like she is making me choose between her and my boyfriend. Halloween group costumes, weekend nights. party dates, etc are just some examples.
I feel bad saying this because I know she’d be really upset that this is how I feel and I’m not sure she realizes what she’s doing but I just feel like because she’s never had a boyfriend she doesn’t understand that boyfriends aren’t just someone you get dinner with once a week, they become a part of your whole life, especially socially. And I’ve been extremely inclusive and she’s so worried about being a third wheel she won’t even hang out with us without other people. So Ive stopped inviting her places since shes bailed so many times.
Edit: I guess I just don’t know what to do. I can’t please everyone and I feel I’m reaching a breaking point. I feel like I can’t even tell her anymore when my boyfriend buys me tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to or takes me to a restaurant she wanted to go to. I don’t want to feel bad for finding a good man, especially when it took me so long to get to this point.
Tl;dr - Friend making me choose between her and my boyfriend without even realizing.
Submitted September 23, 2021 at 04:54PM by omh31 https://ift.tt/3o8urXt
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