My boyfriend [M27] and I [F30] have been together for a year and a half and currently living together.
We fight or either of us gets upset almost everyday for the past couple weeks. We had a talk last night (again) and came to the conclusion that the root cause of our problem is from our different communication styles which we talked about before and acknowledged that we both have to understand the difference and compromise. But easier said than done.. It’s been pretty hard on both sides.
Here’s the difference: He’s future-oriented and filled with creative ideas. So when he shares his cool ideas and future goals (mostly about his career in culinary art), he gets sooo excited and he expects me to be as excited as he is. He basically wants more positive/big/instant reactions.
On the other hand, I’m more of present-oriented, analytic, and almost always calm. I do get excited when I hear his cool ideas but I’d still react like “Oh that’s really cool!” with few questions about it because I need more details to picture it in my head or purely because I’m not familiar with his field. (I’m in IT) When he expects me to be like OMG THAT’S F-ING SICK! YOU’RE A GENIUS!!!, I’d be asking more questions and having small reactions in a calm manners and that pretty much ‘kills his vibe’.
Knowing the difference, I’ve been trying to give him big reactions and whenever I do it, I get so conscious about it I feel like I’m faking it. I’d look like an AI robot trying to mimic a human but fail hard. :(
I know he’s been trying to understand me and not to make a fuss about it, but turns out that positive reinforcement and reassurance is quite important to him.
Now I don’t know what to do or how to meet him in the half way so both of us feels comfortable.
Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!
TL;DR! A calm/quiet gf trying to give her bf a big reaction and show excitement but feeling too awkward. Any advice?
Submitted September 27, 2021 at 10:15AM by Nikuniku99 https://ift.tt/3oeRIqX
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