I [20F] am switching majors and career decisions. My dad (63M) is very angry over it and he is showing a really ugly side of himself.

So my dad and I have never had a super close relationship. I never thought he was a terrible person or anything, but he seemed to randomly get really extreme reactions to minor things sometimes, and he also exerts more control on the lives of his adults kids than I like.

Anyway, Dad is a lawyer, and at some point or another he tried to steer every one of his kids towards law school. None of my older siblings wound up going for it, to be honest I think he pushed it so hard on them they rejected it out of spite.

When I started college, I actually was kind of into law and government and I thought being a lawyer actually sounded pretty cool. Dad was of course happy with that and was constantly on me about getting grades for Law School. But over the last couple semesters I have lost my shine for being a lawyer. Partially because I have hand friends go to law school and I saw how burned out they became over it, and partially because I started changing my mind about what I wanted to do with my life.

I kind of discovered I liked the idea of becoming a teacher better than being a lawyer. I at first figured I was too far into undergrad to change my mind, but I wound up talking to a friend who is in the School of Education and he told me about how the requirements for a degree to teach social studies are actually not far off from what I have done and I could likely switch over without time lost, at maybe the cost of one extra semester. I was actually really glad to hear that and I went and spoke to an advisor and switched majors to Education and I am applying for the school of education next semester.

I feel much more at peace with the choice to be a teacher and I was very excited about making the change and I was very happy with my choice.

Until I told my dad. And he lost his shit over it. I expected he might be a bit disappointed, but I was not at all prepared for him to completely lose his temper over it. When I told him his reaction was to get angry and ask why I would want to do that, and I just told him I thought I would like being a teacher better than being a lawyer, to which he responded "So you don't like having money?'

I tried talking a little more but it was not going anywhere so I told him I had to go and hung up. He texted me afterwards and told me to come home and talk to him before I do anything else, so I did that last weekend.

He was initially calm enough about it, but kept going on about how I have "always" wanted to be a lawyer and how I was throwing everything away if I change now. I can understand some disappointment from him, but he seemed to get angry and started making some really ugly comments during our talk. He told me I was too smart to be a teacher and I would hate my life if I go into teaching. He also told me how I owed it to myself to go and the application process for Law School should tell me that it is meant for smart people. I pointed out to him that I have to apply to the School of Education as well and it isn't like they just take anybody, and he then asked me "Are you really comparing the School of Education with Law School".

He also took kind of a low blow and asked me if my mom had anything to do with the change of mind (they are divorced) and I told him no. I later found out he e mailed my mom to ask her what she had to do with me changing majors and how they "agreed" I would be going to Law School. The whole conversation was going no where and I told him I felt like it was time for me to leave, and he told me he was not going to be paying for me to go be a teacher. I told him I'll try and figure out my own tuition then, and he followed up that if I change majors he will expect me to pay him back everything he has already spent on school.

Any sort of acceptable resolution to our discussion was clearly gone by that point so I just left and returned to campus.

Then today my phone got notified that it has been added to one of those "family finder" programs or whatever they are called so my dad is able to locate me by it (I pay him money for my phone bill but I am technically on his account). I called and asked why he was tracking my phone and he told me that I'm acting unreasonable right now so he needs to keep an eye on me.

This whole situation has me very angry. I expected some mild disappointment from him but was not at all ready for this extreme reaction he is having, and his comments about law school vs teaching have left a really bad taste in my mouth. Those and some other comments he has made in the days since seemed very classist to me and I'm not really pleased with my father right now.

And I absolutely hate that he is tracking me by phone. He texted today to ask if my major switched yet and I explained to him that I have to wait and apply at the School of Education at the end of this semester, and it would change at the beginning of Spring Semester if I get in. He responded that was good because it gives me time to get my head back on right.

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It is unreasonable for him to be having this sort of reaction, right? I'm not dropping out, I just found something I think is a better fit for me than Law School.

Should I go ahead and apply for the School of Education? I'm not sure how I'll pay for it yet, but I think I would be happier with that.

Or should I just go to Law School like dad wants?

TL;DR: I want to change my studies from Law to education. My father is acting like I'm ruining my life and he told me he is not going to pay for it. Not sure what to do.

Submitted September 29, 2021 at 01:18PM by CranberryOk739 https://ift.tt/3igpRTp