Don’t get me wrong I (33F) understand that you will always have a special place in your heart for someone that held such an important role in your life for so long. She is the mother of his child, it is bound to have a lasting impact on your heart. My problem is that I think he is taking the intimacy of their relationship too far as coparents. He and I have been dating for about 6 months, and before that we were each other’s first loves in high school. We are very serious about each other and have already discussed marriage, kids and living together.
But more about his current situation: He,his ex and daughter have pool days where the three of them go to the pool and his ex will ask him to put sunscreen on her back and re-tie her bikini straps. He has been living with her during their divorce process for a few years. He is about to move out, I have seen his new house, it’s nice, and closing is next week so I know for sure it’s happening. But for now it almost seems like they are still married just without the sex. They aren’t living in the same room, and I do trust that he is not sleeping with her in any sense of the word. They have some major fights about typical divorce type things, so he says that when he has an opportunity for peace and a friendly interaction with her he wants to take advantage of it. I think he takes that friendliness too far for my comfort level. If she is going out somewhere and needs her bra straps adjusted, she asked him to do it for her. If she comes home late at night after drinking and needs help taking her makeup off after she’s taken her contacts out she asks him. If one of them is in the shower and the other needs to go to the bathroom they have no problem with it happening at the same time, meaning they see each other naked.
How can I tell him I am uncomfortable with this kind of intimacy? I have told him this crosses a boundary of mine, but he says they are family and they will always have that intimacy. That he has seen it all before. At what point does that cross the line? If this was a normal relationship and my boyfriend was adjusting some girls bra straps I feel like it would be OK to be upset, but maybe it’s different if it’s an ex-wife? He insists that the acts I just mentioned are not at all intimate on his part, I just can’t get over how uncomfortable I am with it.
EDIT: The reason I am bringing this up now, so close to when he moves out is because I just found out this happens. I am worried about what it means that he doesn’t see it as a problem. I realize the situation will be different when he moves, but the fact remains that he sees no issues with me telling him it makes me uncomfortable and him saying that’s how they will always be.
TL;DR My boyfriend who still lives with his ex-wife is being out in really intimate positions but doesn’t see a problem with it even though I have explained they cross my boundaries.
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 03:27AM by StrongBranch0 https://ift.tt/2ZtyfZ3
No comments:
Post a Comment