We have been together for two years.
I will just get my frustrations out of the way since that's why I'm here.
He is pretty immature. I have to remind him on a daily/weekly basis to clean his room (he stays with me and my parents) and to do chores around the house since he doesn't have a job. He moved in with us last year due to family issues with his dad. My parents have been more than welcoming but they're getting pretty tired of him just laying around playing video games and not working.
He does not have a diploma. He dropped out of high school because he did not want to repeat senior year (not his fault, it was the school's) and was terrified of what the other kids would think of him. He was supposed to get his GED back in 2019 but he quit (due to accusations that could have ruined his life). He does not have his license and has made no efforts to get it because he "is waiting for his dad for the payments." He had a job at a fast food place but quit after two days because he had to do work he didn't like. He is studying again for his GED but, again, I have to remind him.
He is terrified of rejection and will do literally anything to prevent it if he thinks it's going to happen. He had broken up with me numerous times at the beginning of our relationship in fear of getting close to me. He broke up with me once because he didn't want to come to my house for dinner. Yes, that's incredibly immature, and I understand a LOT of, if not most, people would have just blocked him everywhere and moved on. For whatever reason, I had a nagging feeling and wanted to be with him.
He is very picky about therapists. They can't be too nice, too cheery, too angry, etc.. It frustrates me because every single therapist has had SOME type of issue with their appearance or emotions (being too happy for example) and he'll stop going because of that. I need him to get help for his mental issues but he always has an excuse.
That's another thing. He has a reason for EVERYTHING. I give him a solution to his problem that he asked for advice on? Nope. Solution doesn't work, even if he's never tried it once in his life. He just knows it won't work so it's not worth trying. He has friends that treat him like shit and I tell him to tell them to knock it off or to simply block them and he always gives me a reason why it won't work to stand up for himself and how it's just that way with them. It drives me up the wall and it this point I'm going to tell him to stop asking me for advice if all he's going to do is shoot me down every time I suggest something.
He depends on his dad too much. I understand his dad is his only parent, but if you could see the way his dad treats him... It's disgusting. He is very neglectful and basically treats my fiancé as trash. He has made many promises and has broken each one. He was supposed to pay for my fiancé's GED classes and test but decided to buy marijuana instead. He was supposed to take my fiancé to take his permit test but decided to lie and say he had to work when in reality he was at home watching TV. Each time I or my parents offered to buy the tests or take him to the DMV, he would decline because "his dad would get mad." He is over 18. He needs to make decisions for himself without worrying about how his dad will feel. He can't get punished because he doesn't live there anymore, so.
I feel awful writing this down. I dream of us getting married and having a family, but the dreams are beginning to turn to static. I am starting to have a lot of doubts. We have had multiple conversations this week about our relationship and none of them have soothed my mind. I worry about him constantly and the possibility his depression overtaking him. It is a great fear I've had since an incident two years ago (I'm sure you can guess, if not I will clarify).
I love him a lot. He is my entire world and I am happy to see him when I'm home from work. But now I'm starting to get resentful. My parents are constantly asking me why he doesn't study or have his license or why he's always playing and it frustrates me. I know they're annoyed, believe me, they have every right to be, but this is every fucking day. I can't take it anymore. I'm starting to dissociate at work and my mental issues are getting worse because of the constant worrying between my health, my fiancé, and my parents.
I really don't want to end the relationship. He told me he is going to try to get better with the chores and studying. I need to be patient (the last conversation about those topics was last night), my dad even told me that, but I just wish it was immediate. I wouldn't have to hear the complaints anymore. I'm worried for my mental health now because I'm at the point where I either want to have myself committed or drive off somewhere and not come back for a week (I won't do it because that's immature and will cause a lot of worry).
Please, any advice. I'm just tired. I want to not be tired. I need to be patient with him and I'm trying my best. I'm sorry
TL;DR: My fiancé is immature and I'm trying to be as patient as possible but I'm starting to get tired. How do/can I cope with it without ending the relationship?
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 04:27AM by candycornisnasty https://ift.tt/3idVyNa
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