Throwaway.
I'll start by saying that I know my mom is mentally ill. I didn't really realize it until a few years ago, but it has gotten much worse over the last year and a half. My sister and I have tried to push her to get help, but her promises are empty.
The event in question was an art exhibit I had a week ago, at a popular festival in my hometown. I've been working towards this specific event for over a year, but my dream of being an artist has been lifelong.
Anyway, my mom had agreed to watch my son for the weekend. Since we all knew my mom never planned on going to see my exhibit in the first place, my aunt reached out asking if she could pick my son up to surprise me at the festival by bringing him to see me. My mom apparently took offense to this, as if the whole family was in on a conspiracy to get my son away from her because she "can't handle it". I had no idea any of this was going on.
After the first day was over, I knew I wouldn't be able to participate the full second day because most of my art had already sold. Because of this, I figured my son's dad didn't need to help me run my booth anymore, and could just take our son to the festival by himself for the few hours I would be working, and I wouldn't have to bother my mom with babysitting at all. So when I showed up to pick him up, she asked me if I was mad at her, and I was confused. Before I could answer, she sarcastically said "Ohhh, there's always AuNt SaRa!" and then proceeded to talk shit about her sister for getting back with her ex husband (totally unrelated to this). I told her to calm down, and she said "Fine! I'll just shut the fuck up like you want me to." I tried to explain that there was clearly a misunderstanding, and she completely interrupted me with a friendly tone of voice reminding me not to forget to grab the leftovers out of the fridge she wanted to send. Just glossed over the entire weird interaction, and pretended it didn't happen.
In shock and confused, I told my sister about it when I got in the car, and cried. I was already so exhausted from the day. To spare more details, my sister addressed the issue with my mom over messages, and instead of apologizing, my mom said she regretted helping me, and said she was no longer going to be part of the family. Threatened to move out of state and ghost us all.
The drama that occurred was bound to happen, as there has been tension simmering in my family for decades. Lots of childhood resentments my mom has with her mom and sisters come into play. The older I get, the more I realize how fucked up a lot of things she did, were. Now that I have a child, I cannot imagine treating him the way she treated me sometimes. I've even started remembering some repressed memories, and am starting to resent her more and more. I know I need therapy too, and plan to get it when my insurance gets approved.
Two days ago she texted me, "I love you", and I just couldn't bring myself to respond. It felt like she was just fishing for validation and affirmation instead of considering me in any way. I don't know how or if I can start to talk to her again. But I'm also afraid I'll regret it one day. I've never been good with boundaries, so I don't even know where to start.
TL;DR my mom created a rift in the family on the day of my biggest success due to untreated mental illness, and I don't know how (or if) I can ever talk to her again
Edit: a word
Submitted September 26, 2021 at 09:50PM by Lurker8008 https://ift.tt/3ibyVbX
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