I (26F) landed a job earlier this year that significantly increased my salary. I came from nothing and have worked hard my entire life since I was old enough to work (15). My boyfriend (32) of 4 years and I live together. He was super happy for me. With my previous job, I still made a little more money than him. Now, I make much more money than him. And based on everything prior to now, he never seemed to mind and thought it was pretty cool. I pay half of our bills, I have invested money and put most of it into savings, I financially provide a lot for my parents who sacrificed everything in order for me to be where I am today, and I love spoiling my man with nice gifts. That’s one of my love languages. When we go out to eat, I almost always pay the full tab. I’d say 95% of the time. I offer and I’m happy to. I always donate to charities and other causes. I also love shopping. Whatever is leftover of the aforementioned finances, I buy myself stuff. He’s made remarks in the past about my love of shopping, but they always seemed lighthearted to me. Anyway, I’ve started going to the gym and realized I needed a good pair of trainers. They came in the mail today. I opened up the package in front of him, and when he saw what they were he instantly seemed annoyed. He interrogated me about the shoes, asked me about the brand and then in a snarky tone of voice says, “Yeah, those look nothing like trainers, and I’ve never heard of that brand. This is just a very weird purchase.” I LOVE shoes - he has never once said anything about them. The cost of these trainers are about what my other shoes cost. I walked away without saying anything. About 10 minutes later he walks into the bedroom just to say, “You spent $150 on those shoes? Do you just like wasting money or something?” He said it in such a nasty, mean, judgmental way. I told him that he had no business questioning me about what I do with my hard-earned money. I am now very upset and don’t want to talk to him. And I feel like he’s gaslighting me by telling me I’m crazy and irrational for being upset.
Oh, and FYI a couple of months ago he mentioned being stressed out about paying back years of taxes. He’s working on a Master’s and is having to pay for that. Without any questions asked, I transferred him $6000.
TLDR: Am I in the wrong for telling him not to worry about what I do with my money when it has absolutely no negative effect on him?
Submitted September 25, 2021 at 08:08PM by daffodil00087 https://ift.tt/2XUEQew
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