I've (21F) recently learned that my family is pretty fucked up. I always knew my dad (50s) cheated on my mom (50s) multiple times but I didn't really know what to think of it. The first time was when I was around 8 and my parents told me they were getting a divorce (they didn't), and I heard some things about "thai girls", but I didn't understand much. My parents have been on and off for a few years now. At one point, my mom found peace and support from religion, and our family life seemed pretty normal. We went to church every sunday, my parents didn't fight much, and we spent our summers and holidays at our house in France.
Well, my parents are now getting a divorce for real, and it's all out. My mom revealed that my dad had been paying a prostitute to stay in a nearby city while we spent our summers in France, stopping by at her hotel whenever he ran errands, and while he was at work, he visited sex shops near his office. He runs a small programming team, making quite a lot of money, and he's spent around 120 000 - 200 000 euros on these kinds of things during his marriage to my mother. He only told her about this last summer when he took part in a sex addiction group. He dropped the group and decided to live a life like this apparently, because he's now dating the prostitute he's been paying for sex for (probably around 30-40F). They're friends on facebook and instagram, but her status says Single. Today my mom told me that he hired his new girlfriend as an employee... for his programming team. I suppose he's trying to avoid taxes being taken out between paying her to be his girlfriend, but it's just ridiculous. She's being paid over 3k euros a month. He's told my mom that he's happy and recovering from his addiction with this... prostitute he's paying.
My mom, who I'm very close with lately, has been a housewife and the caretaker of my little brother with down syndrome (18M). She has no work experience and no income once the divorce is final. I'm scared for her finances, and honestly, I don't think I'll get any safety net inheritance from my dad as he's very new money and well... uses his wealth on sex. I really miss my dad, I've always been a daddy's girl, but I'm so angry at him and have no idea what's going on in his head. I feel like I can't trust anything he says because he's a pathological liar and cheater, and calling him out could put my mother's finances in danger because the divorce isn't final yet. I don't want to rock the boat at this point, but I have so many feelings and want to talk to him. What on earth is going on in his head? I've gotten over my initial feelings of hate I had a few weeks ago, and I think I'm ready to talk to him, but I need help to figure out if that's a good idea, and what I should be saying anyway. I don't want to lose my dad, but I don't want this one.
TL;DR: My dad's double life full of prostitutes and lies has been exposed but I don't want to lose the only father I have. Should I talk to him? What should I say?
Submitted September 28, 2021 at 02:57AM by throwaway1293211 https://ift.tt/3EXuFqu
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