I've been dating this girl for 3 months. I'm crazy about her. She's completely my type and someone that I could see myself being with for a very long time.
However, a month into the relationship we were having a conversation and she let it slip that I'm "not her type". I got a bit upset by this, but she reassured me that she likes me for my personality. I put it to the side, but since then it's always been in the back of my head that I'm not someone that she is physically attracted to.
I tell her all the time how pretty and beautiful she is, because I think couples should make each other feel attractive and wanted. But she only ever compliments me by saying that I'm "cute" like a baby or a puppy. The other day she was talking about a celebrity she likes, and kept gushing about how handsome he is. I jokingly said "I wish you would talk about me that way". She then tried calling me handsome and burst out laughing. She then hit me with "no, you're cute". Aside from this, she's made several comments hinting that she doesn't like me for my appearance, just my personality.
She was born and raised in Japan so she's very fixated on appearances and looking good. She puts on makeup and obsesses over dressing nice when she goes out with her friends. But when we go on dates she looks more plain and doesn't make as much of an effort. Almost like she doesn't feel the need to look good around me. She's also extremely honest so I know that everything she says is how she truly feels. I used to have extremely low self-esteem regarding my looks and I've told her about this, and that if she can't compliment me sincerely then don't do it at all. Which is why when she laughed after calling me handsome, it stung. Even on the occasions that she does try to say something positive about my looks, it's clear that it's because she feels obligated to, not because it's how she really feels.
Aside from this issue, the relationship is good in all aspects. But I'm not sure if I want to be emotionally investing in with someone who isn't attracted to me. Am I just being too insecure?
TL;DR: My girlfriend has made numerous comments and actions suggesting that she is not physically attracted to me, even after I told her I've had low self-esteem regarding my looks. It's making me feel very insecure and question if I want to continue this relationship.
Submitted July 01, 2021 at 12:56PM by justathrowaway324 https://ift.tt/3qEMyDK
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