My (30F) husband (30M) tries to distract me with gifts whenever I bring up issues in our relationship but never does anything to fix the issues.

We’ve been married for 6 years.

My husband and I have rarely spent time together in the past 4 years. I’ve brought it up to him multiple times and each time he would provide a distraction until I stopped mentioning it again.

I remember the first time I mentioned I felt he was starting to pull away from me, he arranged and paid for an amazing girls trip for me and my sister. The next time I mentioned we had barely spent time together in months, he sent me flowers and gifts every single day for the next month but never made an effort to actually spend any time with me. There are countless other examples I have of him doing this and I think at some point I just stopped mentioning it because I just felt ungrateful complaining when everyone was constantly telling me how amazing and romantic he was, and how I was so lucky to have a husband like him.

This last year has made it incredibly difficult to continue burying my head in the sand, though. Before, I could give him the benefit of the doubt because he did have a busy schedule. With the pandemic though, he definitely has more time but there’s been no change in how much I see him.

He tried to pull the same gift tactic again a week ago but this time I was so angry that it turned into a fight. He kept saying he didn’t understand why I was making it a big deal when he was trying to do something nice. When I tried to explain my point of view, he denied doing it and said something like “So, now I can’t buy my wife a gift without having some sort of ulterior motive?”.

I’ve confided in a few people, and they all said they were jealous and would like a spouse who spoils them. Now I feel both guilty and conflicted. I’m not sure where we go from here or if there’s even a solution because he doesn’t see the problem and apparently no one else does either. I could really use some advice to see if I really am the problem here and/or if there’s a way to make him see my perspective on this without sounding ungrateful.

TL;DR – My husband uses gifts and trips as a distraction tactic whenever I bring up the issues in our relationship, but he never puts in any effort to remedy the actual issues.

Submitted May 02, 2021 at 04:29PM by ThrowRAgiftissues https://ift.tt/3eSaq10