Hi all.
I live at home to save up money to buy my own place, and for the most part it’s okay, other than my parents never taking me serious on anything, ever.
Everything I say is funny or it’s a joke, and if I speak on any subject (even if it’s serious) it goes in one ear and out the other. It’s as if they don’t listen to me at all. They respond with things that don’t make sense or aren’t really age-appropriate (I’m 29).
I’m currently applying to law school, have my RE license, and have been in property development for the last 4 years. I started a company with a friend and we’ve turned 7 houses and done 3 major remodels so far. I’m still a rookie in this world but I feel like I’m able to speak on things, being on the job site every day (actually doing work. Crawling, demo, framing, etc) and literally playing contactor. I feel confident enough to give advice that makes sense and is accurate.
My parents are looking to remodel their kitchen and the conversation got brought up while I was in the kitchen with them. I suggested they have a rough idea of design and all of their measurements in hand before calling anyone over / going to a design center (but really they should do it themselves) and that advice went in one ear and out the other. They are worlds apart in what they want, so to mediate, I gave them a rough idea of basics they should take into consideration (space between potential island and existing cabinets, things like that), and their response was “oh that’s cute. We’ll see what the designer says”
I stayed quiet, but my dad brought it up again and asked a question and I explained the opportunities they have with their budget (not wanting to move walls, electrical, change flooring, coloring,) and again, didn’t really listen. I knew better to mention anything to my mom because she is very “I am right and it’s my way or no way at all” so I didn’t try.
Right now, I’m listening to the designer they brought in tell them every single thing that I said to them already (I’m making a list as they go along):
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The pendant lights have to be changed or removed entirely
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The kitchen island can have an L shape or rectangle but a square shape will be removing cabinets, not adding them (currently have a peninsula)
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You will need plugs in your island for code
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Keeping the peninsula would be the best option
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You can’t have stark white with maple brown cabinets
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You’ll have to change the floors
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Greys are notoriously hard to keep
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They will not install the existing sink to the new counter top
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You need a minimum of 36 inches between your existing wall cabinets and proposed island (I do 42 minimum but standard minimum is 36)
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-the price of the project
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who will let you source materials form where / what companies will and won't allow
This woman’s word is golden and mine was shit, even though she repeated verbatim nearly everything I said.
This is just one example, but I’m sitting here in my room pretty upset that they wouldn’t bother to listen to their own daughter, but instead take the word of what this woman said instead. I don’t know how to address my frustration with them on it because I feel like again, they will minimize my thoughts and feelings.
It’s almost like they still see me as a child? And don’t think my advice is mature or adult like? I can’t figure it out.
In contrast, I have a cousin who abandoned her baby recently (actually left er in a hotel room for someone to hopefully take care of) and made a million other careless decisions and I feel like she's treated with more respect than I am. I've seriously thought about getting knocked up by a random to try and get their respect.
I’ve mentioned to them before that I truly feel like I could cure cancer and they still wouldn’t take me serious. “Oh, that’s cute. Did you see that doctor over there using the new cancer treatment? Wonder where it’s from.”
What can I do to be taken more serious, or express my frustration in a way that gets through to them?
ETA: my mom just said "this is why I got a professional in here". My heart just broke.
TLDR: Parent's don't take me serious. Even in my own profession they will not heed my advice but rather take it from somewhere else. I feel like I'm a perpetual child to them. What to do to express my anger correctly and be taken more serious?
Submitted May 25, 2021 at 04:06PM by candidbanandid https://ift.tt/3ulCLCz
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