TW: abortions
I (32F) have a wonderful 1 year old with my husband (33M). Needless to say, the first 6 months of our baby's life were pretty difficult. After we got everything under control and adjusted to life with a baby, my husband and I had a proper date night that ended in unprotected sex (uh-oh..). It resulted in me getting pregnant. We knew we wanted 2 children but wanted to wait until our 1 year old is about 4, but we decided to go for it as I am getting older and may not be able to have another child if we keep waiting longer.
We were planning to wait until 22 weeks to tell our families. But, we went to a gathering with my family and there was wine. I love wine (no..I am not an alcoholic) and the only times I have refused it at a family gathering was when I was pregnant. My mom offerred me some and when I refused, she asked "OP, are you pregnant?" I said no, but I am a horrible liar so it was pretty obvious I was pregnant. Then, my whole side of the family found out I was pregnant at 12 weeks.
At the ultrasounds, they detected that the baby might have trisomy. My husband and I do not want a child with these disabilities - we do not want to have the work going into caring for a baby with trisomy, we may neglect the needs of our current baby caring for the baby with trisomy, and we have high stress jobs (I am in law and my husband is a doctor). Once we found this out, we quickly talked it over in the car and it was pretty clear neither of us wanted it so we got an abortion ASAP.
A few days later, my mom asks how the pregnancy is going and I told her I got an abortion. She went batshit crazy - accusing me of killing a child, selfish for not wanting to care for one, selfish for not giving my daughter a sibling (I never knew she was so pro-life otherwise I would have said I miscarried). Then, my mom texted this to the whole family and I have been ostracized and nobody is talking to me (aside from my brother, he has been supporting me through this and is the only one not ostracizing me)
I love my parents and the rest of my family and it pains me to see them cut me out like this. I want my 1 year old to grow up with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in her life.
I need advice. What can I do?
TL;DR: My family cut me off for having an abortion after we found out it would have trisomy.
Submitted May 30, 2021 at 06:47PM by rubberyblubber https://ift.tt/3vDjSwn
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