I (19F) feel like I 'give in' too easily with sexual situations, and I am not sure how to change myself. I feel like a complete sex object sometimes. Am I just destined to be like this forever?

I remember when I first lost my virginity, and I thought it was the best thing ever, and I couldn't believe I hadn't done it before. Its been 2 years since then and now I almost feel like I have zero control over my sexuality. I will tell myself, over and over, that I will not do anything sexual that night, and then the moment I see even something mildly stimulating, like the sight of a mans forearm or something, all of that just goes out the window. I just get sort of overwhelmingly horny and end up doing something I regret later.

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I have sort of a friend group of mostly guys who are friends through baseball. They are all fit, attractive guys for the most part. In the past year I have slept with all of them, and pretty much every single time I hang out with them I end up sleeping with one, or sometimes more than one. I know what they think of me, they don't care for my personality, they just think of me as a super easy lay. I am 'the girl' who doesn't care about just giving a blowjob on the couch when hanging out, or to go to the bathroom for a quick fuck. And when I am in that moment, that mood, its like all reason and rationality is lost, I just am totally focused on physical pleasure. There was a point where I went with 4 of them on a trip to a summer house, and it was pretty much just non-stop group sex. They took turns fucking me in the backseat. That was really a turning point afterwards where they were much more open about sex with me.

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I just feel... ashamed? confused? I enjoy this. I really do. I cant imagine a world without it. Its my favorite thing to do. And yet I also feel like everything in the world is telling me this is bad. I feel like I cant connect with other girls who aren't like me. I can barely connect with other girls at all. I don't understand how they don't want sex as much as I do, how they can just hang out with a hot guy and not want to sleep with him automatically. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with my brain receptors where I just have much more physical pleasure from sex than other women or something. I will say that it takes much less to make me orgasm than most other women I talk to. I will, more often than not, have multiple orgasms.

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The thing is, I am not damaged, I am not disturbed. In every other way, in my upbringing, home life, I am a normal well adjusted girl with good grades and no real history of depression or anxiety or anything like that. I sometimes wish this was something that I could go to therapy, and the therapist would tell me that something in my past is why I am like this, but I cant. Its not a 'complex' I have. And I sort of hate that. I wish I had an off button in this regard.

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Not sure what to do. Is anyone else like this? Just overwhelming desire sexually to the point where they are basically seeking sex constantly? I am worried about my future. I am worried that this is all I will really care about in my life. That I just have an absurdly high sex drive to the point where it destroys my social life.

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TL;DR - - I am worried that I enjoy sex too much, and that I am just destined to be like this for my entire life.

Submitted May 30, 2021 at 02:18PM by curtaloiwun6 https://ift.tt/3yPbrQC