I started dating my current boyfriend just a few months ago. I really liked him, and in a way he seemed too good to be true. He's hot, funny, tall, has a real job, and he's really nice to me. I was pretty much obsessed with him tbh.
One of his guy friends (who I'm pretty sure is into me) told me that my boyfriend used to have a side chick during his last relationship. Naturally, I thought he was lying to me, but I figured I better make sure anyway. I probably should have just asked my boyfriend but I wanted to find out for sure before bringing it up with him. So, since his ex is a friend of a friend, I managed to get her phone number. I called her, and asked her about it. She refused to tell me anything useful. She just said, "talk to him about it. It's none of my business". I could tell from her tone that something bad happened between them. So, I finally decided to confront my boyfriend about it.
He didn't deny it at all. He stayed with his ex for over two years, and he had a thing going with this other girl for about 6 months of that. He eventually broke up with his ex to be with that girl until she cheated on him. That's a lot of cheating and lying.
He told me "yeah, it did happen. It was the shittiest thing I've ever done. I was in a relationship, but I fell in love with another girl. I was a dumb kid who was too much of a coward to just breakup with her." He said that he really thought he was doing her a favor by lying to her. He said that he felt like she needed him. She didn't have a place to stay, a job or anything. At the same time he fell in love with that other girl, and she didn't mind being the other woman.
He said he hated himself for a long time after that whole thing. He told me that was his rock bottom . and he'd never do such a thing again.
I feel like the image I had of him was drastically wrong. He does seem like he regrets everything, but can a guy who is able to lie and cheat for six months be trusted? Is this too much of a red flag? Should I be concerned about our future together?
Also, Should I tell him about his friend telling me all that stuff? (I just told him I found out and he never asked me how I found out)
Thanks in advance.
TLDR- found out that my boyfriend had a side chick during his last relationship. He kept her around for over 6 months. He says he really regrets it, and hates himself for doing it. Is this too much of a red flag?
Submitted May 31, 2021 at 12:06PM by ThrowRAccaskd https://ift.tt/3fB9hMY
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