For background: We’ve been together for 4 years and in that time, my bf has not met a single friend of mine that he likes. My closest friend, who is involved in the story below, did act very possessively towards me at first and did something questionable, but that was when we first started dating and she apologized and has tried to include him and get to know him so many times since but he just won’t be around her except for the few times I’ve made him. I.e. they’ve hung out maybe 5 times in 4 years. As far as the other friends I have goes, he always find something to dislike, for example he’ll say they acted stuck up towards him, but I’m around too and I just didn’t see anything stuck up at all. He doesn’t want to join in on hanging with any of my other friends but says he will if there’s something really important to me that he be there. So, all of my friends have only been around him a few times in the many years we’ve been together. They think it’s weird and are worried he doesn’t like them and idk what to say when they ask. Meanwhile, I’m buddies with his crew and always accompany him to anything he’s doing with friends when invited. It’s always bothered me, but he says that it’s not his fault his friends are awesome and mine suck, basically lol. He swears that if he met friends of mine that he genuinely liked, he’d be interested in getting to know them.
Onto the current issue. There’s a place in town that my guy loves to go to for pool with his guys. I join them a lot of the time. One time a few months ago I brought one of my friends there for a few drinks just the two of us. When I got home and told bf, he said that’s “his” bar and I “can’t go there without him”. It’s so dumb, I honestly thought he was joking lol.
Apparently not! Because last night I took my bestie (the one he reallly doesn’t like) there and when I told him after he got so mad. He said “I told you not to go there without me”. We got to arguing about it, and I guess the problem isn’t me going to that bar without him (he said it would be fine if I went alone, though I don’t usually grab a drink just me) so much as it’s that he doesn’t want my friends going there. His reasoning is that this is somewhat of a sacred place for him, to relax and forget about everything that stresses him out, and play pool/drink beer/hang w the guys. So if any of my friends decide they like the place too, and start going there, it will kill his vibe. He said he does not want them coming up trying to hang with him, he doesn’t want to have to pretend to like them or be fake nice, in this “one place”. He wants me to promise not to go there with my girls. He said if I were to do so again it might be a deal breaker because it crosses his boundaries.
I just...don’t know if I can promise that, because I don’t like him telling me where I can or can’t go. And because I find this so immature. Would it really be that big a deal if one of my friends approaches you? Say hi and get back to your game. And of course, the bigger issue: why in the world does he have such a problem with my friends?
TLDR; my boyfriend doesn’t like my friends, is trying to claim a bar as his own as a safe space away from them
Submitted May 30, 2021 at 11:47AM by consideritwar https://ift.tt/3fBrbzf
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