Let me start by saying that I am not an amazing writer so please bear with me. Okay, maybe I should introduce my situation a little. When I was 15 years old I meet a girl and immediately fell in love with her. I absolutely loved everything about her - this is probably what you call a "honeymoon phase". The happy times lasted about a year, that's when she fell seriously ill and died 4 years later. Afterward, I kept any personal relationships to a bare minimum and almost completely closed myself off from people. I have this irrational feeling of guilt whenever I had a nice conversation with someone, it's like I'm betraying her. After another 5 years, it feels like time has stopped and everything lost its color. Over the years I lost interest in everything I enjoyed. I still think about her every day and recently I catch myself thinking "I want to meet her soon" and very dark thoughts are circulating through my head. How do I fix myself, where do I start? I don't want to be a wreck anymore. I want to meet someone, fell in love, and start a family but the sole thought is making me feel incredibly guilty. I know it sounds pathetic, especially because I'm a 25 years old man so I should have dealt with it years ago.
If you have lasted until now, I'm sorry you had to read my childish thoughts in broken English. I just don't have anyone to speak to. Thank you.
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**TL;DR;** : My girlfriend passed away years ago and I feel guilty about trying to form new relationships.
Submitted May 02, 2021 at 07:21AM by V3semir https://ift.tt/2Rk5z0I
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