I'm 29f and he's 40m. We've been together almost 2 years now. His kids, girl (7) boy (5) have been in my life a little more than a year and a half. I entered the relationship with a whirlwind of sexual chemistry, him and I are still very attracted to each other. Somehow I thought that over time, the depth of our relationship would develop more in the way I wanted it to. I'm sad to report that as of late, I've been having a difficult time with truly mentally connecting with him. Something that I wish I'd considered more before I was brought into his kids lives, obviously. I've been wearing rose colored glasses though. For him, I'm enough. We laugh, we watch movies (usually his choice), listen to music (his choice), but there is a reciprocity that doesn't exist between us, one where my mind is explored, one where my interests are considered. I don't think I'm being selfish in wishing these things were present in our relationship. We've discussed this. I've said how I feel like a f*** buddy. How I feel like I'm hooking up with a roommate. He hears me I guess... but nothing ever changes. I try and tell him that I need verbal love, but he shows his love differently, through sex and good deeds. Big problem: I love his kids. And his ex is not in the picture. I kindly ask that you spare me the "well you should have thought about this more before you got into a relationship with someone with kids" rhetoric... but it's to be expected I suppose. sigh I know in my heart I need to break up. But I'm not sure how to go about it. He'd probably let me see the kids, but part of me wonders if I'd be doing more damage from casually seeing them (like their mother does one a week for a few hours), or just cutting it off completely, no matter how tough. Right now I only see them about 1-2 days a week. I should also mention that I'm scared to break up, worried I might regret my decision, that I shouldn't be so picky.. I really wish I hadn't dug this hole. Sometimes you just think that everything will work itself out, until it doesn't.
TL;DR: I love my 40m's kids. Our relationship isn't measuring up anymore, I'm not sure about my exit strategy. I want to end it, but scared of the repercussions. Kids mom isn't around.
Submitted May 03, 2021 at 06:17AM by throwrasadness7 https://ift.tt/3aW5kQe
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