My husband (29M) (lets call him Y) and I (36F) have been married for 7 years. We have a kid(3F).
Yesterday night while my husband and i were having a drunk argument he revealed that he perfectly manipulated my ex girlfriend into believing that i hated her and was already cheating on her so that he and i could be together.
8-9 years ago I used to date a woman, (lets call her G). We used to work for the same company. We were an extremely unstable couple. we used to always fight on the least important topic, used to taunt each other on small things almost everyday. it was an extremely toxic relationship, but when i dated her , i loved her nonetheless. i was dating her for almost 4 years. I saw a future with her, adopting kids yada yada. But yes our relationship was toxic. and people knew about it.
Like everyone knew how unstable we were but except some close people no one spoke to us individually about it. And one of these close people was my husband. I knew my husband ever since he was a freshman in college. he and a few of his college kids used to rent the the apartment below me. He knew a lot of people from my office because he was 1, opting for an internship there and 2, my ex was always at my place and colleagues used to come over every now and then.
Now that i can connect the dots properly, he used to talk very intimately with me , too much caring and was slowly poisoning me about my ex. with my relationship on the edge with G i started to feel caring and protective about Y. But i never cheated on her. This went on for a while, when one day finally G broke up with me with absolutely no solid reason. all she said was something like " we both know we're toxic for each other lets end it for the better." nonetheless I was devastated. Also became mentally vulnerable. thats exactly where my husband and I hit off.
For the longest time i know my husband is manipulative. he does it to his friends, colleagues , anywhere he can get a profit. he's pretty vocal about it to me. it never occurred to me that he could have ever done this with me as well.
After he told me that , I remember going silent for 10 secs or so. I was in a phase. i screamed at him at the top of my lungs and a few more throat tearing arguments i barely can remember since im sober. i remember that he cried. i dont think i was in a mental condition to cry. I left home that night and was at my friend's place. . numerous missed calls i didn't pick up. i went back home the very next day. i cannot stand a moment without my daughter. but i really havent spoken to him at all. im just silent.
I love him. I really do. but now i feel like our entire marriage is based on nothing but lies and traps. what should i do.
english isn't my first language so pardon, accidentally deleted the post too, reposting
edit: I am most probably moving out and taking a break. and definitely i will give couple counselling a try
tl;dr : Husband reveals after 7 years that he broke me and up ex up so that we could be together, feel like entire marriage is based on lies
Submitted October 31, 2020 at 01:09AM by throwRAtimeto100 https://ift.tt/35LTdlu
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