The title sounds pretty messed up, but I guess that’s just what it is. My boyfriend and I were recently talking about a couple members of my family who have cheated on their spouses. My sister’s husband cheated on her, and my brother cheated on his wife. Both of these incidents happened years in the past, but we’ve been quarantining together for months now and we kind of just talk about anything and everything at this point. My sister’s husband cheated on her several years ago before my boyfriend and I were even together. My brother cheated on his wife about three years ago so while we were dating. At the time, my boyfriend was on the one hand really sweet to me - he went out and bought me flowers and declared that he’d never cheat on me. Later on, though, he sort of rationalized what my brother had done saying something along the lines of “sometimes a guy’s ego will make him do that.”
Anyway, when we were talking about this stuff recently, my boyfriend said that I should thank him for not cheating on me. Basically implying that I should be grateful that he isn’t as bad as the other men in my family, or perhaps even men in general. I was pretty dumbfounded and irritated by this comment, and I asked him if he’d like it if I said that to him. He then doubled down and said that he’s thankful everyday that I don’t cheat on him, so that wouldn’t bother him. I argued that not cheating on your partner, similar to not hitting them, is baseline, decent human behavior, not something that one should expect to be thanked for. When I said this he relented and tried to backpedal by saying he was “obviously just joking.” This isn’t the first time he’s said something rude, disrespectful, or inappropriate, then claimed he was “just joking,” when I’ve gotten upset. I’m having trouble believing he was in really “just joking” - I think he really thought that I should be thanking him for not being as shitty as my brother and brother-in-law. But even if I were to take him at his word about it just being a joke, that still seems like a stupid and inappropriate joke to make to your partner.
TLDR; boyfriend responded to stories about men in my family cheating by saying that I should “thank him” for not doing the same to me. He then walked it back and claimed he was joking. Not sure what to think.
Submitted October 31, 2020 at 05:53PM by throwawy4289 https://ift.tt/2TJwyk2
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