When I was 12 my mother passed away from complications of the flu. My dad (54M) was left with four kids to raise on his own. I am the oldest and my younger siblings are currently 8F, 9M, and 10M. They were 3, 4, and 5 at the time. My dad was overwhelmed and very busy after it happened, and because I was the oldest and was the only one who understood what was going on, I stepped up. It has been my job since to make sure the younger ones got out of bed on time, make sure they ate breakfast, make sure they were ready to go to the bus stop on time, help my sister with her hair in the morning, make sure there was something on the table for the younger ones to eat if my dad couldn’t make it home for dinner, make sure they’re in bed at their bedtimes, etc. I never felt bad for what I had to do. I always felt like I was doing my part in the new family unit to keep everything running. I didn’t think anything of it; I was doing what needed to be done. I was still allowed a social life and got time with friends outside of school when I wanted to, obviously, I just had more responsibility.
My dad started dating my stepmom three years ago and they have been together since. My dad asked us kids if we would be okay with him dating, and we all gladly gave our permission because he deserved to be happy again. They got engaged last winter and got married at the beginning of the summer (with our blessing). After they were married, she officially moved in and I’ve hardly been able to stand her even though I used to like her. She has stepped in and started helping out on all my household duties and managing the younger ones. When I wake up for school in the morning, I come down stairs now to see that she has already gotten the little ones out of bed and has breakfast on the table. I haven’t had to make anyone a single meal. No more driving my siblings to their friends’ houses. I know she is trying to be helpful and I am happy that I’ll be able to go away to college next year knowing that my siblings will be taken care of, but I feel like my toes are being stepped on and my position in the family is being taken away from me and it makes me detest her. On top of that, seeing her make herself at home in the bedroom my mom and dad once shared and drink coffee from mugs I remember my mom using makes my blood boil. I make a point to spend as little time around her as possible.
Since she’s moved in, I’ve been cold and oftentimes cruel to her. I know I can’t detest her forever-she is my stepmom after all-and she’s not going anywhere. What makes the situation more infuriating is I know I’m being irrational. She’s a kind woman who treats my dad and siblings well. I have no reason to dislike her as much as I do. I’ve tried to force myself to like her but it won’t work. Is there anything I can do to try and get over this intense dislike of her?
TL;DR: I have an intense, irrational, dislike of my step mom and I know I need to get over it. I don’t know how to go about doing that, though.
Submitted October 27, 2020 at 03:03PM by throwawayCici1717 https://ift.tt/3jDaxOm
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