You can read the original post here.
Okay! Firstly, thank you all for your advice (and no thank you) to the few who took it upon themselves to DM me to be inappropriate or creepy - wtf, read the room).
It gets a little intense, so first I'll just cover some things I wasn't able to in my original post.
I trust my boyfriend completely. Even if I didn't, this apartment is large, not massive....I know where that beloved MF is 24/7. A lot of you asked when after my housemates confession he told me about it: he told me a couple of hours afterwards. He explained to me after we had a chat about it that he was afraid I wouldn't believe him or be angry, because at first he'd thought it was a weird joke that made him uncomfortable, and he felt (rightly so) weirded out. I agree with the bulk of you that her continued touching is harrassment, and while a number suggested he just confront her himself, I empathise with being in a situation without breathing room where someone is sexually harrassing you. It's not easy, and you can quickly find yourself unsure if those brief moments of crossing a line happened. He's not on our lease, and understandably he was concerned about me and the power dynamic in the house (bc her room is a mini granny flat, she pays the bigger share).
I also don't believe that it was, as some suggested, a hypomanic episode. I have BP2 and while I understand the 'love rush', she exhibited zero other behaviours, and never tried to contact my BF outside of the weird touching. I also can appreciate there's no way she was actually in 'love'.
SO:
Yesterday, after a tense few days of trying to avoid her, my BF and I were in the kitchen at breakfast, with her around in the living area. I went to 'our' bathroom (she has an en suite) which is just off the main area to brush my teeth. I walked back out to grab my phone as she was sidling behind my boyfriend who was looking in the fridge, and caught her running her hand and forearm across his lower back where his tee shirt had ridden up a little. My boyfriend, who didn't see me, yelped really loudly and just lost it. He yelled at her to "stop!" and when they both saw me he starts going "you see?! You see?! This is what I was talking about!"
I was furious, just whole body anger, and I could see she had now realised he HAD told me about her confession/behaviour, and just sprinted to her room and slammed the door. My BF and I went out for a walk to calm down, and he kept apologising for not being "more firm", but he was shaken up - some of you told me I should just confront her head on, which in the moment I 100% sided with, I was so angry for him. He told me he'd rather give her the opportunity to do it diplomatically. I appreciated what you guys said about lock down being extenuating, and in discussion with our mutual friend, I was willing to believe that an element of it was naivete, and a bit of fantasy gone too far. I was willing to be kind to her.
When we returned with a plan of action, we knocked on her door but she didn't answer. We tried a couple of times but she wouldn't come out, although she was 'seeing' my Whatsapp messages. Come late afternoon, I was just over it, so I knocked, and told her I was coming in. I sat her down on her bed and told her gently but firmly it was inappopriate, making us uncomfortable, told her she had to get the hell over it/herself if she intended to continue to live with us. She burst into tears and starts crying about how she's "so sorry" and what a "bad person' she is, and she can't believe the pressure of lockdown is getting to her, whatever, and I felt bad. Started sympathising, trying to be compassionate...and then she says "It's just so unfair that the guy I'm in love with has a really great girlfriend".
Reader, I lost my shit. Unfair, my ass. I told her she had a lot of growing up to do, and perspective to learn, and that she owed the house an apology. She started to have a meltdown, a full, weeping, hiccuping snotty meltdown. AND THEN when I stood up to leave, I spotted, in her clothes rack, my freaking shirt. I took it, and went back to my room.
My housemate cried loudy with the door OPEN until 7PM (for....attention???) when I cracked. I used our emergency contact sheet, called her mum, told her she had to come pick up my housemate. I've never met this woman who came rushing in like a superstar, but the look of annoyance and embrassament on her face when she arrived and found her 27 y/o daughter having a tantrum told me this wasn't a new part of her personality. My housemate also STFU pretty quickly after she realised her mum was there. They didn't say anything to us, and we just hid in our room until they were gone. I think she'll be gone at least for a while, but I texted her to let her know it would be best if she texted me before she came back. IDK when I'll see her. Technically the lease ends in August so my BF and I think we can make it work and find someone new, and if not, it's not so long til we can resign without her.
As a coda to all this?? My BF mentioned if she took a blouse, maybe she took other stuff too. I appreciate some of you may consider this an invasion of privacy, but I did go back in, just to check the clothes rack. I found: a set of my jeans, my tee shirt, one of my boyfriends work shirts, a vinyl I owned, my fucking charm bracelet from when I was a KID from inside my jewellery box, and a sheet of my old antidepressants...this was just what was on the rack/on display. I imagine there's more in the drawers. I don't know if this was the right thing to do, but I left them there for now bc I don't want there to be any 'doubt' she stole them. There's zero chance she's going to live here any more. Honestly, I hope she does get help. I'm really angry and violated, as is my BF, but I can empathise with the havoc an uncontrolled mental health issue can wreak on your behviour, and while it's still wrong, it still sucks for her to experience it and lose friends. NOTE: I can't be sure, none of us can! But I feel like maybe (?) she has a histrionic personality disorder.
TL;DR: my relatively normal housemate who told my BF she was in love with him turned out to also be a thief. Yikes!!
PS! Our mutual friend has told me another friend who went to school with my housemate had told her a rumour she'd told a bunch of people in their year that she had leukemia. YIKES.
(edited for typo)
Submitted June 23, 2020 at 08:29PM by DiscombobulatedOwl81 https://ift.tt/2NpU56t
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