Husband is buying a house, he won’t put me on the mortgage and is taking all our money to do so. I’m not sure what to do.

My husband (M early 40’s) and I (F early 30’s) don’t have a good relationship. We have many issues, he refuses to work on them and basically does whatever he wants, even with big decisions.

He considers all our (joint finances) money to be his money. Even the little money I’ve made with a (now failed) business he claims is his because the initial start up money was “an investment”. Except for the short lived business I had last year with a friend he doesn’t want me to work and has made working impossible and extremely taxing and unpleasant, so I’ve given up (he’s pretty verbally and emotionally abusive).

Anyway, we’ve been married almost 6 years, no kids. We live in a NJ which is a common law state. My husband decided about a month ago that he wants to buy a house and that he will buy one regardless of what I think. He is about to sign on a house for $700,000 which will up our monthly housing cost by extra $1,500. He is taking out a $32,0000 loan on his 401k and using about $15,000 in our savings/ taking out of investments (which is all the money we have). He told me today that he is not putting me on the mortgage, mainly because that way I have no right to the house or any of the money that was/is put into it if I divorce him.

He’s claiming this is for my best interest. I’m pretty sure we’re heading for divorced even though it’s not an option for me. My parents are financially dependent on me/us especially during the pandemic and if I leave/we get divorced they will literally be homeless and/or die.

I’m not sure what to do and I have zero control. This may not be the right sub reddit for this so this is cross posted.

Sorry for any typos/bad grammar, I’m trying to post this fast before he comes upstairs.

TLDR: husband is buying a house, he won’t put me on the mortgage and is taking all our money to do so. I’m not sure what to do.

Submitted June 29, 2020 at 05:48PM by CityStuck https://ift.tt/2NIOfgN