My girlfriend (20F) and I (21M) have been dating for two years. We are usually very intimate, but lately it has died down a little. This is for a few reasons: we have both gained a little weight (college will do that!), i'd say we are officially out of the "honeymoon stage," but a large reason is that we still haven't had sex. This isn't for religious reasons. She swears that she wants to have sex and talks about us having sex like it's a common thing, but she says that it hurts too much.
For the first 6 months of our relationship, i would go down on her, and then just masturbate later because she was a little shy still and wasn't ready to go down on me. However, after she became more comfortable we have been doing it ever since with no issues of boundaries. About 2 months after she became comfortable with going down on me, we discussed having sex. I bought a box of condoms and some lube and we tried... only to be met with lots of pain on her end. The thought of her having to grit her teeth while having sex is an immediate turn off (obviously) so we did our usual routine and moved on. This was about a year and four months ago and we have only tried to have sex three more times.
A month after trying the first time, we talked about the fact that she might have Vaginismus. I made sure to do a lot of research as to how we could alleviate her pain, so i bought her a set of dilators. The first few weeks seemed to yield a lot of progress, but she stopped updating me a long time ago and every time i ask for an update she tells me that pushing it won't help her and then gets mad.
So i'm 21 and i've only had sex one time (a one time hook up with a friend). I don't know how to tell my girlfriend that i'm starting to lose my patience. Honestly, the worst part is the constant hinting and suggesting that she is close to being able to have sex with no actual sex. She talks about a fantasy she has where she surprises me on a special occasion and we have sex, but after an entire year of talk like that i can't help but think that it will never happen.
While not everything in our relationship is perfect, i love her, but i'm getting very impatient. I feel like i'm missing out on having sex like other people my age.
How can i talk about this with her without starting a fight?
TL;DR - My girlfriend (20F) and I (21M) have been dating for two years (been sexually active for 1.5 years) but haven't had sex yet. The sole reason is because it hurts, but after a few weeks of using dilators, she has been very secretive about her progress.. She regularly mentions having sex like it's something we often do, which gives me false hope, and then gets mad when i ask for an update. I'm becoming very impatient. How should i bring this up to her?
Submitted June 28, 2020 at 07:46PM by 55AAHORTWWY55 https://ift.tt/38azH2N
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