Boyfriend (21m) came in me (21f) and now wants to leave for a week so I don’t “freak out and go crazy” on him.

My boyfriend (21m) and I (21f) have been together for around seven months and we have lately been arguing almost everyday. Sometimes it’s my fault and sometimes it’s his. I was terrible at holding myself accountable and he would get quick to defense whenever he assumed he was being insulted or “emasculated as a man.” I fixed my issue of taking accountability, but the arguments haven’t stopped because now we have issues with our sex life.

Basically whenever we have sex he gets to finish, but the whole time I can tell he’s out of focus during the sex, and when I ask if we can continue going he says he’s “scared he’ll put me in a risk of getting pregnant if we continue.” But that doesn’t make sense to me (correct me if I’m wrong) because how can he say he’s afraid of the risk if 1) he’s the one who refuses to wear condoms and when I say it’s the best option he says “okay fine but you know I won’t feel a single thing right” and 2) he already came so why is he afraid to go again?

I brought this up to him last night then he tells me he has performance anxiety when he has sex with me because of how “inexperienced” I am (he’s my first proper penetrative sex partner) so he’s scared if he isn’t doing well... but this confused me because I’m not very inexperienced anymore. I learned how to properly lube myself and do ALL the positions he requested (even riding him for more than thirty minutes). I kind of took it personally because I thought how is that the reason he isn’t focused on our sex but it was perfectly fine with other women he wasn’t even dating? (This even reminds me of the time he insinuated he regrets getting with me because I’ve had previous sexual experiences, but when I bring up that he has too he says “it doesn’t count as sex because I used condoms everytime.”) I definitely messed up taking it personally so he left the room for a good ten minutes then came back and initiated sex so we could go step by step on how to fix the problem. I suggested many tips to relax him and help him stay focused and feel good. So much for that because he decided the best way to connect during sex was to finish in me.

He asked “can I cum in you” and didn’t give me much time to answer before he did it. Then he was like “well, we connected.” He seriously forgot that we live in a country where getting any sexual healthcare is illegal unless we’re married!!! I didn’t want to make it clear that I was freaking out so I went to the bathroom and went on my business. When I come back he goes on a whole tangent about how he feels guilty about cumming in me, but he feels bad about the “principle of it” not the risk of it because he’s so sure nothing will happen. I’ve been on birth control consistently for about two months. But...how does he get to do such a thing then feel bad and say “I should really leave you alone”?!

The next day I was prepared to start the day with no fights and just positivity, despite what happened the previous day. But as soon as he wakes up he goes on yet another tangent about how he is a bad boyfriend and he can’t fulfill the things I want out of a relationship right now (he just cut off his toxic family and is on his own now) and that I should be with someone else who can do me better. I got so annoyed because he always does this whenever he feels like he messed up during the relationship!!! I started yelling and crying because I’ve reached my breaking point with him doing such a thing instead of thinking solution-based, which is what he does with EVERYTHING but when it comes to his mess ups during our relationship he just wants to run away!!!

Then we settled down and agreed we’d climb the mountain together and fix things. So I get my hair and makeup done and put on a nice dress so we can go out and have a good time. I thought we were having a great time until he started cracking jokes about how me being affectionate with him is a “facade” because if I were to find out I’m pregnant (which he says is a 1% chance but he still says the sentence coming next) then “I will freak out and tell him he ruined my life.” I’m sorry but don’t you think one should face the consequences of their actions and not run away from it!? How does he get to put that risk ON ME without my permission then says that he should not be affectionate with me until I find out for sure I’m not pregnant and possibly stay at a hotel for a week because of how I could possibly react?!

He then again turned the day into something negative and AGAIN IS RUNNING AWAY FROM OUR PROBLEMS!!! When we got home I lost it and couldn’t breathe because of how fed up I am. He even had the audacity to say “are you emasculating me right now?” WHEN I TOLD HIM HE WAS ACTING OUT!!!

I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I love him and I used to see him in such a good light but now I’m not sure. It’s like I’m with someone who’s so scared of being threatened with his masculinity yet for someone who wants to be a man so bad he runs away from everything when it comes to our relationship!!! He does NOT get to cum in me then put all of that other stuff on me. I’m seriously about to lose it and I am losing so much faith in this relationship because of how one sided it is yet he refuses to agree that’s true! I don’t want to break up with him but at this point I don’t know if I can tolerate his behavior any longer. What should I do...? I have been wrong many times in this relationship as well but I’ve always bounced back and never ran away. Please help.

He literally said “asking me to become a better boyfriend is like asking a homeless man for some change” right after I lost it and cried myself to sleep. This is just ridiculous.

TLDR; my boyfriend came in me and now wants to get a hotel room for himself for a week because I’ll “freak out on him if I get pregnant” so my affection is now “just a facade” instead of just taking his consequences, and now I’m considering whether I should stay or leave him.

Submitted June 29, 2020 at 12:44PM by Rii99 https://ift.tt/31qWAxG