I (25F) am so self conscious, that it’s ruining my sex life with my boyfriend (27M). How can I be more confident and intimate?

My boyfriend and I have a lot of love for one another. We have been together for nearly 2 years.

I have a lower libido than my bf and I struggle to initiate sex. I know we don’t have sex enough and I think this makes him sad sometimes. On my end, I’m really self conscious. I used to suffer from depression and eating disorders and I think I just haven’t ever really recovered my confidence.

Sometimes I’m scared. Scared to see my body contorted in flabby ways. Honestly, sometimes I’m tired or not in the mood. Or I am in the mood, but not enough to see my body in this way.

We definitely don’t have sex often enough and I’m embarrassed that I’m not the person he deserves but I don’t know how to be better for him.

I want to have sex more but often I’m scared that it will make me feel disgusting and depressed and I don’t want to trade his happiness for my distress if that makes sense.

I don’t want him to be sad that we don’t have sex. I definitely don’t want him to feel rejected. I would like to do it more but I really hate my body and it’s a barrier that I’m disappointed I haven’t been able to cross.

It’s all on me as well. He isn’t doing anything wrong. He tells me I’m beautiful all the time, in and outside of the bedroom. We are one another’s biggest fans. Nothing would devastate me more than to lose him which is why I really would appreciate some advise on this.

How can I get over this and do better? How do i stop being so unfulfilling? I’m starting to get scared that I’m gonna lose him.

Ps. Yes. For some reason, I’m crying right now. That’s how weird I am about all of this !

Tl;dr: how do I get over my self esteem issues and engage in a healthy amount of intimacy with my partner?

Submitted June 29, 2020 at 09:08AM by pussystrongerthangod https://ift.tt/3eL96vF