I (24F) met my friend (31F) 8 years ago through soccer. Fast forward into adult life, we began coaching high school soccer together 5 years ago. For the past 5 years we have spent nearly every weekend together, played on weeknight soccer leagues, gone on girls camping trips, and international travel trips. She is one of my best friends and was a bridesmaid in my wedding.
Now 6 years ago, while I was out of state at college, my friend’s boyfriend got a roommate from out of state. This roommate became friends with both of them. When I moved back from college after a year, I met the roommate and he and I ended up getting married 4 years later.
So obviously both my husband (the roommate) and I are friends with this couple separately, but since he and I got together 4 years ago, the four of us have basically been inseparable. She was in my wedding party, he was in my husband’s. It was fun! Also, my friend and I are the closer of the four of us, and every time we all hang out or travel together it’s because she and I plan things.
Now here’s the issue. These friends of ours got engaged last year and are planning a destination wedding. For the last year, my friend has been asking me for advice on where they should plan it, what to do for her bachelorette party, asking me who should be in her wedding party, etc. Then one night, the two of them FaceTime my husband and I. We’re all sitting there and in front of everyone, her fiancé asks my husband to be a groomsman. My husband is surprised but excited. Then my friend gets on and asks to talk to me, privately. She then asks me... to be her FLOWER GIRL. I am so caught off guard. Not that I expected to be in the wedding, but by the way she asked me to plan her bachelorette party and asked my husband right in front of me, I guess I didn’t expect to not be in it.
After the phone call my husband is in shock (like I said, she and I are way closer than the guys). I’m in shock. I take a few days and then call her to clarify wtf is happening. She explains how I will still be a part of the wedding party, and how I’m one of her best friends and she wants me there with her the entire day and getting hair and makeup done with her and the bridesmaids. So basically she wants me to act like a bridesmaid, but not be one. I was still confused after the phone call but decided to let it go in hopes she recognizes how awkward this will be for me to tag along all day and then sit in the audience by myself while my husband is standing up there...? Now a month later she sends me the dress she wants me to wear. It is a white floral dress. It looks like a child’s. And it doesn’t match the rest of the wedding party’s AT ALL. It would be one thing if I was in the same dress if I was acting like a bridesmaid all day, but I will stick out like a sore thumb and also I feel like it’s all a bit childish.
Also, she wants to keep the “flower girl” role a secret. Even from my husband (who I already told).
Now, I get it’s her wedding day and she gets to have it however she wants. And I truly want to help her have the best day. However, I feel like for whatever reason she doesn’t have a place for me in the wedding, and now I have to play a child’s role. It seems silly and also confusing that she wants me in the wedding party, but not technically in the wedding party? Also I am supposed to plan her bachelorette party? I don’t want to be a flower girl at all. But I don’t want to ruin her day. How do I tell her I don’t want to be a flower girl?
TL;DR my friend asked me to be a flower girl in her wedding. I am a 24 year old adult and not a child. Does she know this? How do I tell her?
Submitted April 23, 2020 at 02:01PM by iguessimaflowergirl https://ift.tt/2VvZXQA
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