My partner [30M] of 5 years is not supportive of me [27F] when I need him to be my rock, instead he destroys the little self confidance I have

I guess a little background is necessary for this to make sense.

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My family migrated to another country when I was 12. None of us could speak the language so I had to not only learn the language ASAP to become the families designated interpreter, I also had to look after my siblings through my teenage years as my mother decided to have 5 more children at around then. She had complicated pregnancies which required regular hospitalization and while she was at the hospital, I was home looking after the kids.

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I basically became the surrogate mother as well as what ever the family needed me to be. There is a lot of things I had to go through that almost broke me at the time (verbal/physical abuse from my dad). Despite all that I managed to get a decent enough grade to go to university and obtain a decent degree in healthcare.

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I'll be honest, I didn't end up getting into what I truly wanted at the time but I was still proud of what I had achieved as people didnt even think I could get into university as I didn't speak the language properly at the time.

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I'm now in a position where I can take an exam to do postgrad study to pursue my dream.

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One of my sisters is also at a stage where shes looking at different options and I guess we are very alike as shes considering the same career pathway. I'm very proud of her and I know she can do it. Ive enrolled her into various extra classes as well and help her with studies myself.

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After studying for couple of months and setting a plan to prepare for 6 months, I started feeling confident that maybe I can do it.

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I shared this with my bf Mike of 5 years, who knows the full history of my past. And he has been ... less then supportive. He kept telling me that I'm too old. That Im practically 30, what makes me think I could study. That I'd be old and grey.

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Once he found out my sister might try to get into the same thing, he started mocking the situation and asked if I'd be embarrassed if my sister got in. Was I jelous of her ? would I be studying together with the child I raised ? how would that make me feel ?

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His words really got to me, I don't know why, I felt like a failure in that moment. I'm not jelous of my sister, I love my siblings, theyre my babies and I want them to succeed in life, Id only ever be proud of them for their achievements.

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we didnt have the same life. Its not even half as close. And thats okay, Id never want them to go through the same things that I did. But my partner, whos known me in and out for 5 years, someone whos suppose to be there for me and support me sees me as a failure despite knowing me, thats.. well I don't know. It breaks my heart and makes me doubt myself

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He apologized once he realized I was upset but I don't know what to make of this. I should be studying but instead Ive been sitting and crying and I can't even collect my feelings on this

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I guess I need to know how correct is he ? how could we even work through this if we even could ? all i see is someone whos unsupportive and I'm questioning the relationship but I dont know if thats fair

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I should note, Mike doesn't support me financially, never has, and I have enough savings to put me through study without needing him, so really me going back to study wouldn't have an impact on him

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tl;dr : My bf of 5 years is not supportive of me going back to study. Hes been making jokes about how I'm too old and that I should be embarrassed if I end up going to university with my younger sister

Submitted May 06, 2019 at 04:02AM by grader203 http://bit.ly/2Jh1Iey