I (56m) need to tell my Son (m 31) and my daughter-in-law (f 26) who want to start a family, that our family history of schizophrenia is much stronger than they know. Looking for advice on how to break this to him/them.

I'm on mobile so please forgive me.

Some relevant history.

My sister (f 59) why I love dearly, developed schizophrenia when she was 18 and she has a chronic case of it. After many years we finally found a prescription regimen that works for her, although she's stable and has been for years, she's unable to live independently and she exhibits the classic behaviors of someone with a severe case of the disease. Also, the side affects of the medication are significant and she's unable to work or maintain friendships. This is important because my son and his sister grew up living just a few blocks from my mother who lived and took care of my sister for 35 years before my mother died a few years ago. So, my kids have seen firsthand what the disease can be like.

A four years ago his younger sister (f24) developed the disease too. She had to drop out of college and was unable to work. After two years of therapy she's been able to obtain and maintain a job and she's doing well, though it's turned her life upside down.

A few months before my mother died (two years ago) she gave me more of my family history. Prior to this conversation I and my kids knew of an Aunt (she's fully functional when taking her medication) on my father's side and my paternal grandmother (was never medicated and although she struggled she was able to raise a family and be wife and mother) who had the disease bringing the total cases to four people including my daughter and sister with schizophrenia. My mother went on to list four more people on my father's side and two on HER side with schizophrenia that she knew of. Schizophrenia has a strong hereditary component for those of you who unfamiliar with the disease.

I feel my Son and my daughter-in-law should know this history so they can make an informed decision before they start a family.

I would like to talk to my son one on one about this so he can process all of this first, but that leaves him with the heavy burden of trying to find a way to tell his wife. If I sit them down together, it's kind of blindsiding him, but I would be there to answer questions and provide support to both of them.

Edit: They've mentioned on several different occasions how much they want children.

Edit 2: removed the possibility of bringing up adoption or sperm donation

How do I break this news to them?

Tl;Dr. I have a stronger family history of schizophrenia than my Son and his wife know and I'm looking for advice on how to break this news to them before they have their own biological children.

Submitted May 26, 2019 at 04:28PM by mythrowaway42day88 http://bit.ly/2W4kHAX