My (27M) Sister (24F) Hates me. I don't know what to do anymore, it's genuinely hurting our parents.

Hi all, first time posting here. I guess I just want to know what I can do, because I'm at a complete loss, and so are my parents.

Some background: My sister and I used to butt heads when we were younger. We'd have petty sibling fights and all that they entail. But at the same time, we'd still get along. We'd play with my batman toys together, watch cartoons, you name it. But as we got into our teens, we hit some road bumps. But that's also pretty normal, right? She'd have her set of friends, they'd judge me for being a nerd. Whatever. That's really all water under the bridge. She's still my sister.

Cut to my biggest fuckup- I failed out of college. I lied to my parents about it until it was too late. It was my worst period. I failed out due to severe depression. But by some miracle, I pulled myself back up and got my degree. Unfortunately, failing out of school seemed to be the moment my sister decided to hate me. We were never the same after this. She'd try convincing my parents to kick me out, and she would hold this over my head as much as she possibly could. She was 16 at this time, so looking back, I don't really expect her to have a nuanced view on mental health (I didn't either when I was that young) but I still don't feel like she understands what I went through, or empathizes.

Nowadays, I try to connect with her in vain. I text her articles she might be interested in, funny jokes she might enjoy, and I get stonewalled every time. My parents try to have family get-togethers, and she just makes no attempt to catch up with me, even though I try. When she does reply to my texts, she tries to spin it into an argument. When I'm in town visiting, she ignores me. When I ask her for help with something, she acts like I'm the most wortheless pathetic person in the world. Come to think of it, any time my parents ask her for help, she tries to argue with them about it as well (over the most petty shit, like helping them take out the trash when they're gone). My parents will go above and beyond for either of us, so seeing this behavior genuinely makes me upset. Being around her also gives me anxiety, because it really doesn't feel like I can do anything right. My parents noticed this tension, and tried confronting her about it. Her answer? when I was 8, and she was 6, I trapped her in a closet for a couple minutes and it traumatized her. That was her answer. I don't believe this for a second, because she would do equally cruel things to me too, because we were stupid kids and fought sometimes.

I don't know what to do anymore outside an intervention with a therapist. My parents are genuinely hurt because they're good people and want us to get along. But any time I try to reach out, she tries to fight. I'm close to giving up- like it's a "lead a horse to water" situation, you know? some people just naturally butt heads. But my parents are genuinely upset over this, and I want to make things right. Any advise would be appreciated.

TL;DR - My sister doesn't want to get along with me. My parents are upset over this. I still care about my sister and want to talk things through, but I genuinely can't tell why she hates me, and why she doesn't want to get along with me.

EDIT : Thanks for all the advice here everyone. I think I'm just going to give it a rest and stop trying to reach out to her. If she wants to reconcile that's up to her at this point. If my parents want something done, I'll suggest they get a therapist. It hurts, because my sister and I used to be close, but that's just life. The most I can do is just be there for my parents, and be there for her if she ever wants to reach out.

Submitted April 26, 2019 at 05:54PM by Stanza89 http://bit.ly/2IXKfrr