I (28f) told my boyfriend (30m) that I didn’t like his Christmas present. Now he is super upset with me.

Throwaway because I don’t want this linked to my main.

Boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 years. Historically, there has been some let down around holidays (he forgot my last two birthdays). So this year, before Christmas, we talked about what we should get each other. I gave him a few ideas that were easy, fun for us to do together, not very expensive. Then for Christmas, he gave me a sound bar for the tv. I honestly didn’t know what it was when I saw it. I am not a technology savvy person, and the gift seemed super random. He had been talking about wanting to get speakers for the tv recently. I started to feel like he bought the sound bar because he wanted it and said it was my present as an excuse. I thought either that, or even after all this time, he really just doesn’t know me well or know my interests.

Anyway, we got into a fight last night about my attitude recently. I have been having a very bad time at work the past few months and have fallen into a bad depression and have been having extreme anxiety. I’ve been crying a lot, bringing down the mood in our apartment and it’s been taking a toll on him. I don’t remember how, but the sound bar came up during the argument and I told him how I felt about it. His entire demeanor immediately changed. He got super upset, eyes teared up. He explained that he got it so we could listen to music together like we used to in our old house. We used to love doing that, but stopped once we moved. He then said he was done with the conversation and left the room.

I gave him some time then went to talk with him. He was still very upset. He told me that I’m an ungrateful, spoiled brat. I grew up in a suburb of our city that is known for being wealthy and kind of snobby, though I have never thought I fit that bill. He told me that I have the that suburb mentality and he hates it. I had no idea he felt this way about me. He said I’m ungrateful in other ways too but wouldn’t give an example.

I feel absolutely horrible that I hurt his feelings. I know I was being ungrateful and I should have kept my mouth shut about the present. I do actually like it now that I know how to use it and understand the meaning behind it. I also know that I should be grateful for any gift and shouldn’t have certain expectations. I feel terrible that I assumed his intentions were bad and I totally understand why he is so hurt. I’m embarrassed and very regretful for my words and actions. I just don’t know what to do now. I’ve never seen him this upset and it’s absolutely killing me. I am afraid he now views me differently or as a bad person. He said he’ll get over it eventually. But he also said it’s the most fucked up thing anyone has ever said to him. Where do I go from here? I’ve apologized profusely, I’m trying to give him some space, but it’s absolute torture. Is he reading too much into this? Am I just a spoiled brat? How can I fix it?

TLDR: My boyfriend got me a random Christmas present and I made unfair assumptions. His feelings are very hurt and I don’t know how to fix it.

Submitted December 28, 2018 at 06:41AM by Throwaway4684799 http://bit.ly/2EUhutB