My [17M] mom got really upset at me because I returned an item that I was supposed to get for christmas that costed a lot of money and she went off on me

Hi reddit I’m sorry if this post is long and I ask for an apology beforehand. I live with my mom and stepdad and my younger half sister who is 14. My biological dad isn’t around because he was abusive and decided I wasn’t worth spending money on and raising, which he is right. I grew up poor and right now we are still kind of poor but we live in a decent home with a decent life. I on the other hand, I was born ill because of my biological father’s drug use around my mother when she was pregnant of me and when I was a baby.

I am not exoected to live past 19/20 years old. I am not physically able to do all the things everyone else can, my lungs are weak and I can’t force myself to go out a lot because dust, animals, and forcing my cardiovascualr system too much can be really bad for me. Mentally I am not wel but I stay silent and to myself so I wan’t have problems with people. I have argued a lot with my mom and I feel bad because I wish I was a perfect son for her but I just wasn’t born as good or as smart as everybody else.

I did say some things back to her in anger such as : She doesn’t have to soend money on me a lot since my life is really not worth it anymore, and some other things like that. For christmas my mom bought my sister all the gifts that she wanted and she got me a blanket that is really nice because I feel cold a lot especially right now due to the weather. My mom’s sister gave me $100 to spend on some things online like games or accessories since there’s really nothing else I can buy and I asked my mom if she can put the money in her card for me so I can spend it.

I think I was over by like $4 because of taxes and the items had not been shipped yet so I apologized to my mom and cancelled the order and they refunded me and she got upset with me. She had asked me what I spent the money on and I showed her then she got mad so I told her it was fine because I really didn’t need all those things so she could just keep the money.

She got really upset about the refund and she started yelling things to me about how difficult it has been for her to raise me and how hard she works to give me what I have and I told her that it was fine that I really didn’t need what I ordered and she started mentioning stuff about my dad and how I always made her feel bad and I apologized to her again because I really am sorry for being a load for her to have to carry even though in the end it’s not really going to matter. I’m only getting worse anyways so I wouldn’t want her to dump all this money on me when she really doesn’t need to. I also want to show her I’m sorry for having ti be so much work to take care of but I don’t know how . I just want some help

TL;DR My mom got upset because I ordered some expensive things online for christmas and then returned them so she went off on me about everything

Submitted December 29, 2018 at 05:12PM by LifesNotFair- http://bit.ly/2SrvwqR