Let me start off by saying I had the best relationship. Best friends in love who made an awesome baby, life was excellent.
Lately some cracks started to appear. It’s always a push and pull bringing up kids, the effort is rarely 50/50 Mum and Dad. We tried to get as close to it as possible, but it was still usually me doing the lions share. A couple of mornings during school holidays my husband offered to take the baby downstairs so I could get more sleep. I hear him place him in his jumparoo thing and there he stays for close to half an hour while I can hear my SO clacking away on his PS4 controller. Baby would shout and cry and he would only move him if I shouted down to get him out (aka I never got to sleep in)
Ffwd to yesterday. Same old story. We have a nanny cam in the living room because of the area we live in, we plug it out when one of us goes downstairs each morning. Again I hear the baby stranded in his jumparoo. I shout down to get him out. My SO says he isn’t in there, he’s playing with his toys. So I checked the nanny cam app on my phone. I just wanted to sleep without worrying about the baby! He hadn’t plugged it out. Clear as day there he was crying to get out while SO played PlayStation.
I came downstairs to confront him immediately for lying, told him I had seen on the camera. Suddenly a switch flicks and he launches into a tirade on how I’m spying on him and he doesn’t want to be around me. I don’t even get the words out to chastise him for putting computer games infront of our sons welfare. He storms out of the house, comes back 2h later and ignores me.
Not one to sit on a steaming turd I conjure conversation so we can discuss why we are both mad at each other, but the way he looked at/spoke to me was completely alien to anything I’ve ever experienced with him. Laughed in my face while I cried, Rolled his eyes when I talked about feelings, claimed I hadn’t apologised and that was why we were arguing when I notably did so several times.
I know it was stupid to use nanny cam but I was just sick of being fibbed to, however his reaction and treatment of me after has left me quite shell shocked. He wants the argument to be over and keeps asking me to kiss him, but I can’t find it in myself to do so. My mum had several bad relationships when I was little and suddenly I’m 7 again hiding upstairs listening to some jerk talk to my mum like crap and I’m unable to do anything about it. The whole thing just felt completely controlling and what is normally cleared up with a kiss and cuddle just feels like it would be horribly fake on my part, I can’t bring myself to get over it.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to about what happened so I have no idea if I’m being melodramatic, which is why I posted here. Should I accept the truce and work on the marriage or is his behaviour not normal?
TL;DR Husband out of character, flipped out, struggling to mend my feelings for him
Submitted December 30, 2018 at 01:48AM by lionsunbear http://bit.ly/2rWor5Y
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