“Laura” and I have worked together for 3 years, but she has been with the company for 8. Another coworker’s son (“Kevin”) visited a few months ago and I guess was interested in me, although we didn’t speak. His mother talked to Laura about it (Laura and mom are close, Laura and I are/we’re close-ish) and Laura was so excited to tell me that Kevin was interested in me.
Laura said that if she was younger and single she would be all over him and that she’s always thought he was so sweet and hot, etc. I felt super awkward, because I’m never interested in someone solely because I see them and think they’re hot, which is what Kevin did. Whatever, it happens. I try telling Laura I’m not looking for a relationship and I’m not interested, but she pressured me to “just give him a chance!”
I caved and gave his mom my number when she basically asked me out for him. It was just as awkward as you might imagine.
We went on a few dates and it was all bad. He bragged about his expensive clothes (Affliction brand, blah), expensive car, and then proceeded to tell me he still lived with his parents because he got evicted from his apartment due to non-payment. He asked me to go on vacation with him a year from now, on our 3rd date. He wanted to know if I was sleeping with anyone else because he got cheated on and had trust issues. He told me he had jealousy and anger issues but I should totally trust him because he’s, like, a really good person. I’m very into true crime and he thought that it was super weird and told me to “stop reading all that serial killer stuff” (a text he sent me, verbatim). He started calling me “his girl” after the 3rd date and tried to kiss me in public after I’d told him PDA makes me uncomfortable. I’m very ambitious, he is not. I am involved in politics, he has never voted. I love reading and he bragged that he hasn’t read a book since high school 10 years ago... this list could go on for days.
Sorry, all of the details weren’t necessary and I totally veered off. But damn, that was cathartic. The man should have been a matador with all the red flags he was waving.
Anyway, things ended after the 4th date. I told him face to face that I’m not interested in going further. It went about as well as you’d expect and it took a couple of weeks to shake him off.
Fast forward to now: Things have been fine at work, there is no awkwardness between me and Kevin’s mother. However, last week Laura asked me how things were going with Kevin. I told her that we went out a few times but I wasn’t interested.
She asked why and I told her we just didn’t really have much in common. She said I was being snobby and that Kevin is such a sweet guy and I shouldn’t have discounted him just because he didn’t go to college.
I never said anything about college... It’s true, I have a BS and he didn’t go to school past high school but I’ve dated guys who didn’t go to college/didn’t graduate. It’s not a huge deal, but what IS a huge deal to me is his disinterest in learning,experiencing new things, and being a well-rounded individual.
Short of telling Laura to fuck off and break up with her fiancé and date Kevin herself if he’s so great, I’m not sure what to do. She was really nasty to me about it and seemed very offended that I didn’t like this guy who she sees as “so great!”
If she brings it up again or is nasty to me at work, what the hell else can I say? If Kevin’s own mother is not offended by us not working out, Laura shouldn’t be.
TLDR; Briefly dated a coworker’s son, another coworker thinks I’m a snob for not liking him. How do I tell her to use her opinions to go wipe her ass, but in a professional way?
Submitted December 30, 2018 at 05:16PM by DAMNIT_IM_A_GIRL http://bit.ly/2AhorlB
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