We used to have this ongoing issue where he would go out after work and never bother to let me know he wasn't coming home until late. I would tell him I found this very disrespectful and hurtful, but he still wouldn't change anything. Anyway, that gradually just stopped because he changed job locations and he no longer went out, but it was a problem for about 2 years, during which I clearly let him know I was upset by it.
Now the issue is that he will often get pissy about something (unbeknownst to me) and then act out. A good example. He was busy today working at home. I told him I was going to return some things and do a little shopping. He texted me after about an hour and asked me where I was, and I told him I was shopping and it was really busy out.
He didn't say anything else, so I'm assuming he's still working (he gets very engrossed in projects and can work for hours on something). I was out for 2 more hours and almost home (and I had 2 coffees for us) when he texted me. He said "fine. I'm going out. Bye."
I told him I was almost home but he still went out. I didn't ask him where he was going because I thought he was just going to grab a coffee or something. Well, that was over 3 hours ago.
I asked him where he was and he responded "out. shopping." Of course he isn't out shopping. He hates shopping.He's saying that on purpose to "punish" me for staying out too long shopping. And we had loose plans for this evening to see a movie and have dinner, but I have no idea if he has gone out for the evening or what.
The stupid thing is, all he had to do was text me earlier and say "hey, come home...I'm bored" and I would have come home within 20 minutes. I was keeping busy doing stuff because I thought he was also busy. But he does this shit to me a lot. He secretly gets himself all worked up and then suddenly explodes in anger at me.
I've explained many times that this is a communication issue and there's no reason he has to quietly stew and then explode. He can easily speak to me and let me know what he wants before he gets angry. But nothing ever changes. How can I deal with this?? Other than constantly walking on eggshells, being nervous that he's getting angry behind the scenes and always checking in with him to see how he's feeling.
TLDR: my husband acts like a kid when it comes to communication. He doesn't communicate but instead gets angry at me without giving me warning.
Submitted December 30, 2018 at 03:22PM by sheindl http://bit.ly/2StNSau
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