My husband and I married two years ago after having been together 5 years (so 7 years total). He was born to be a father. He has so much patience and love for children, and has many younger siblings so he's used to just being around kids.
I have very little experience with children. I have no siblings and was not allowed to babysit when I was a teen (actually had a babysitter until I was maybe 16). I've spent time with my husband's little siblings and encounter children occasionally at work. I've changed maybe one diaper in my life.
Seeing how great my husband is with children made me want to have kids of my own. We agreed to start trying in the upcoming year (we wanted to be done having children by 30 ideally, so we'd have as much energy to take care of them as we can). But now that 2019 is getting closer I'm scared.
I spend a lot of time reading subreddits headed by stressed parents. I see moms especially feeling neglected and stripped away of their identity after having children. I'm afraid of having a child that has severe behavioral problems and could hurt me physically. I'm afraid of having a very picky eater and having to give up on the cultural dishes I love in favor of french fries for years and years. I know having children can be rewarding as well, but all I can see right now are the negatives and I'm scared.
I'm not really looking for parenting advice here. More on advice to talk about this with my husband. When I bring up stuff like this, he just says "we're a team. whatever comes up, we can handle it together". I believe him, but it doesn't help much. He thinks I'm worrying about imaginary problems.
We'll have so many people to take care of in the future. Our parents when they're old. He has a brother with disabilities that we'll be caring for when the time comes. Adding kids onto that just feels nerve-wracking. Sometimes it feels like I can barely take care of myself.
Any advice on handling this?
Tl;Dr Want to have children with husband, but afraid. Need advice for communication.
Submitted December 28, 2018 at 09:18PM by afraidokidss http://bit.ly/2ETyXmR
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