I (24F) exploded on my Grammy (75F) during Christmas Dinner in front of the entire family. My parents want me to apologize.

A little back story: My grandparents are wealthy, which I think is significant to the story because it’s the reason why they get away with treating people horribly. The rest of the family puts up with it so they don’t get cut from whatever inheritance there might be.

My Grammy has always picked favorites. She has a favorite child and grandchild. My Dad has always said that if you’re lucky enough to be one of the favorites, “the world is at your fingertips and if you’re not, you’re left out with the trash”. I was the favorite for the first 17 years of my life because I was the only granddaughter, the rest of the grandkids were all boys.

My Grammy and I were really close and we spent a lot of time together. My parents had opened their own business and they were gone most of the time. So my Grammy was kind of like a mom. She picked me up from school, took me to all my extracurricular activities, etc. We were really close.

Then my messed up uncle (who is the favorite) had twin girls when I was 17. My grandparents are like parents to them too because he and his wife are always in and out of rehab. (It’s a long story, but basically my Grammy has enabled my uncle’s drug use and gambling for 40 years, all because he’s the favorite so he just keeps getting more and more money for more drugs and gambling). So now the twins are the favorites and I’m left out in the trash with the rest of the family. Now I know how they must’ve felt this whole time.

Every time I’ve seen my Grammy for the past 6 or so years she’s incredibly cruel and very very critical, granted I don’t see her often because she’s always with the twins. I recently got engaged and she told my she didn’t like my engagement ring. At my brothers wedding, the ONLY things she said to me was that I shouldn’t be drinking fattening drinks while I was sipping on a vodka and cranberry. I try calling her and she never calls me back. We have no relationship now and it’s not from my lack of trying. Things like that.

This Christmas we were all together and she never stopped taking care of the twins to acknowledge anyone else’s presence except for when she announced that my room in her house is now for one of the twins. She also spent a long time talking about how it’s not too late for my fiancé to call off the engagement in front of the whole family and it didn’t sound like she was joking. She also told everyone that I was too fat to ski this year (as we were going the next day). Side note, I’m not even fat but for some reason she has been obsessed with my weight my entire life. She started telling me that I needed to diet when I was in elementary school and I think it’s part of the reason I have low self-esteem as an adult.

Anyways, so all of these events transpired just before dinner. At the table, she asks me in a very nasty voice “so what did you learn today?” And I just lost it. I really couldn’t hold it back, it wasn’t so much screaming as it was uncontrollable sobbing and I just got out “you’re a really rude and nasty person and this is my last Christmas with you.” And then I left and haven’t seen her since.

The thing is, is that she is an open wound inside me that I try to fill with anger about her favoritism and criticism, but deep down it’s this immense hurt and loss that comes out as tears when the anger gets brushed away.

I’m done with her. I don’t want to apologize, even though my parents are basically forcing me to. I don’t want to hear her mean comments at my wedding as she dotes on her favorite twins, but also she’s my grandmother and I still want her in my life. But I want the old Grammy. I’m not sure what I should do.

TLDR: Grammy picks favorite, which I’m not anymore. I lost it on her and embarrassed myself at Christmas dinner because I was hurt by the things she said before. My parents want me to apologize, but I’m not even sure I want her in my life anymore as I always end up upset and crying when she’s around.

Submitted December 31, 2018 at 01:57PM by AnalyticSourness http://bit.ly/2R09cHT