- We previously discussed getting engaged early 2019 but he has finally admitted that he is very averse to the idea of getting married (his parents' relationship fucked him up). He thought he would be able to convince himself to want it over time and we discussed venues, rings, budget, invites etc. and he felt super guilty the whole time because he wanted to want it
- We don't want children
- We've moved to a new country together, have a pet, and are in a stable position. We're a pretty awesome team, really.
- We have a joint savings account
- He says he feels 100% ready to (had we the money and found the right place) to get a joint mortgage for a house
- He says he wants to stay together till death do us part but not in a civil partnership or marriage
- We have discussed options such as being "engaged" and never changing that status (not a fan of the idea), or simply get rings and have an alternative ceremony but no legally binding bits (still not the biggest fan but could potentially warm up to the idea). He says he would happily announce this in the next few months should we decide on these options
The most important thing for me is not marriage itself or the wedding, although those are nice, but the legal security it brings. If something happens to me, I want him to have my assets, if I'm ill or injured, I want him to be able to make decisions on my behalf, and I do see the appeal of being recognized as a committed, social unit (with all that brings financially as well).
I'm a pretty easy-going person most of the time and I love him to bits but it's hard to ignore the tiny niggling "he might want to keep his options open" voice in the back of my head.
Hope some of yall can help me understand his position better from an outside perspective!
TL;DR: SO and I agree on staying together, disagree on whether or not to have a legally binding aspect to the partnership
Submitted December 31, 2018 at 07:48AM by roadtorecurve http://bit.ly/2GOafGe
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