(M25) cut off my family. My mother has gotten wind that I'm playing music in a band again and I'm worried she'll show up to a gig.

Hi all,

So I've been freaking out about this today and just wanted either some guidance or some calming words. I've played in bands since I was 16 and joined my current one when I was 19. I had a son in 2017 and took about a year long hiatus from playing due to life stresses, one of them being my family. Many times since the birth of my child, my wife and I have felt severely intruded on and after several anxiety attacks and many boundaries we clearly communicated and not adhered to, we cut them off.

A relative of one of the band members Facebook lived us at our last gig and my mother ended up seeing it and asking if I was still playing in the band. She has since proceeded to message my drummer asking if I'd be playing tonight at a fairly popular bar in a mid-sized American city. My drummer messaged back essentially stating "though I don't feel this way about the situation, (my name) has expressed that he would like for you not to attend any shows. If you speak with him and he says otherwise then by all means we'd be happy to see you. Happy holidays!"

I play music for an escape. I do it to enjoy time with friends and to make a little cash on the side to support my wife and son. I need help calming down from this, I don't know how I'll be able to perform tonight if she or anyone else shows up.

Tl;Dr Estranged relationship with family. Mother got wind I was playing music, might show up to gig. I'm freaking out and on the verge of an anxiety attack.

Submitted December 28, 2018 at 07:25AM by boneslab http://bit.ly/2EWqcbT