Partner has always been a runner and has a lean frame. As a horse rider I have a more muscular body type, particularly in the lower half. We are the same weight but I’m shorter. We were messing around weeks ago and he started taking things semi-seriously so I managed to sit on him and pin his arms as a joke. He struggled but couldn’t escape so I made him tap out by saying uncle before releasing him. Given he was being playful and half laughing I didn’t think this was an issue and hadn’t thought about it since. Weeks later he has told me that it has affected him and made him feel emasculated and humiliated as he was genuinely trying to escape and that a woman shouldn’t be able to overpower him and that he was just tired. Initially I thought this issue was petulant and infantile given our age and was surprised he felt emasculated - it was a random outburst and took me a few minutes to recall the wrestle we actually had had weeks before. Whist we haven’t ever mentioned it I know I’m weaker than him in the upper body. He asked me recently if I felt I was stronger than him in the lower body and I replied with a “yes” given my body type and riding I’m probably a lot stronger there. I’m finding red flags because he has also been defensive about earning less than me, he really dislikes two of his female bosses (which I’ve met and honestly I don’t know the full short but they seem very decent people) and constantly leaves house chores to me. He also doesn’t like working out with me and has stopped pulling his weight with cooking and house admin.
Tl;dr Is refusing to accept (for weeks) being playfully submitted by a woman in a play wrestle part of a bigger problem of viewing women as inferior across the board? Should I have not gone along with the game and protected his ego by releasing him from the “wrestling/submission” move earlier or by letting him win and avoided all of this, instead of watching him squirm and waiting for him to say uncle? (sorry this sound so childish but it’s mushroomed into a big issue for him)
Submitted December 30, 2018 at 06:45PM by Emmjeebob http://bit.ly/2SoBMzC
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